Many travelers have thought about it but few have attempted it — getting it on while flying. From couples to strangers that have just met, courageous passengers have been sneaking to the back of the plane to check this off their bucket list since airplane travel was invented. Although many of those trying to join the mile high club choose to play it safe, most can't seem to refrain from making some extremely risqué decisions — even while flying at an altitude of 35,000 feet. These real life stories of passengers who have joined (or attempted to join) the mile high club may make you rethink the next time you and that special someone try sneaking into the bathroom when the seatbelt sign is on.
63. Ding dong.
I was a passenger many years ago on a Boeing 727 (Delta Airlines I think) New York to Miami. We were cruising along when "ding" was heard through the cabin. Then "ding ding". Then "ding ding ding ding". Everyone looked at each other with a bit of alarm; then the air hostesses started laughing. "Ding ding ding ding" faster and faster than nothing. Since all the air hostesses were staring at the back of the plane so did the passengers. Out came a young couple one after the other from the bathroom, where they'd been knocking boots against the assistance button without knowing it. The entire airplane burst into applause and the young lady turned the most lovely shade of deep red.
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62. Here's how to do it.
I'm a two time member of the mile high club. Both times were on overnight flights during a non-busy time (when most people are sleeping). The back of most larger intercontinental capable planes (777, A380, etc) have one or two elongated lavs. Both people should be standing and facing the same way. The way it works is one person leaves their seat first and goes into the lav after identifying to the other party which lav it's going to be. Lock the door, but have the party lift up the ‘no smoking sign’ on the outside of the door and unlock it from the outside. Once inside, you know what to do. Make it quick and then one person leaves and lock the door again. A minute or so later, the last person leaves. Nobody had any idea both times.
61. So close.
One time I was flying to Vegas on a redeye flight that was almost empty. I ended up sitting next to this stripper who was flying home after being summoned for a booty call by some professional football player. Anyway we started kind of hooking up in a way that could be considered "third base" and at one point I leaned in to kiss her and she said, "What are you doing? We are on a plane!" Guess she had second thoughts. Hope it wasn't my breath.
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60. Gotta have standards.
Not a flight attendant but I once hooked up with a serviceman on his way to active duty in the Middle East while we were over the Atlantic Ocean. There wasn’t anybody in the middle seat. So between them turning down the lights for the overnight flight and the blankets we had, it wasn’t that hard to be discreet.
No way would I do it in a plane bathroom, though. Those things are nasty.
Photo by edwin josé vega ramos from Pexels
59. Any opportunity.
I was on a flight maybe a decade ago during spring break, so lots of college students on my plane. It was a large plane with a middle row with 3 seats, I was to the left and sitting on my right was a male army bro in his early 20’s, and to his right a college aged lady. They get to talking, she is obviously flirting with him, he is talking about his army training, it’s not captivating at all, but they have chemistry. I watch a forgettable movie and disregard their conversation. About two hours in I start to hear make out sounds next to me, I’m not gonna hate they can have their fun, but it escalates. I start to hear her moaning, no shame at all. I feel a bit like the the 3rd wheel so I went to the lavatory to give them privacy. After returning to my seat, it was apparent he had done a good job and as we deplaned it was clear they were going to find the closest private space to finish the tryst.
Photo by Alexander Isreb from Pexels
57. Lock the door.
I once walked to the back of the plane when I was like 10 to got to the bathroom. My family and I were coming back from Disneyland to Chicago, and I was mostly just bored because of the long flight. The bathroom sign said 'vacant', so I just opened the door not expecting anyone to be in there.
I walked in on like an 80 year old couple doing something weird. Apparently they forgot to lock the door. I was so shocked and embarrassed that I didn't even know what to say. I just stood there frozen in the doorway and said nothing. The old lady slammed the door shut, and I just walked back to my seat. I was really young and didn't really understand yet, so what they were doing didn't click in my mind until a couple years later. They were either having some fun or helping each other go to the bathroom. I don't even really know what I saw, but it wasn't pretty.
56. Better luck next time.
I was recently on a flight where two people made it obvious that they were trying to do the nasty. The bathroom on the airplane was extremely small and unfortunately the couple was more on the bigger side. They tried to both squeeze into a bathroom not so quietly and it failed as they couldn’t get the door to even close.
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55. Everybody knows.
My girlfriend is a flight attendant. Her best story is when the offending couple came out of the bathroom, they were presented with a First Time Mile High Club Certificate signed by the whole flight crew, including the pilots. It was drawn on one of the first time certificates given to little kids, and they crossed out a few words with crayon and wrote in Mile High Club instead of First Time Flyer.
The couple were suitably embarrassed.
Image by Aline Ponce from Pixabay
43. He paid for it dearly.
42. Love that crew.
I used to work maintenance for an aircraft carrier a fair few years back. On the Boeing 747-400s, there's a hidden crew rest near the tail. There's a small staircase, and a bunch of bunk beds up there. I never got to take advantage of this, but when we had to pull out the mattresses during heavy maintenance checks, we'd almost always find opened contraceptives under some of the mattresses.
Apparently long-haul flights had a bit of a reputation of things happening between flight crew (And occasionally between flight crew and passengers).
41. Not just planes.
On a trip to Europe from the U.S., my husband decided he wanted to be a member of the mile high club. It was a pretty full flight but I decided to amuse him. We never joined the club because we thought it was just becoming too obvious, but...
On the train going through the Channel Tunnel at 3 am was a perfect time to go in a bathroom that was double or triple the size of an airline bathroom and cleaner as well. So, we joke that we may not have become members of the mile high club, but we did manage to become members of the "mile below club."
40. First class treatment.
I was on a midnight red eye on the way back from Vegas. The flight was relatively empty, and I was in first class. The only other person in first ended up being a girl who was a flight attendant for another airline. (Apparently if crew from other airlines change out of their uniform they are allowed to fly in first when there are seats available.)
Anyways, it's a long flight and we start flirting. Halfway through the flight, the first class attendant has moved to the back of the plane to chat with the coach attendants, and we do the whole thing without anyone noticing.
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39. What the pilot knows won't help you.
During my first trip as an airline pilot, we had a passenger get a little tipsy and flash the cabin. There were no children on board, so the flight attendants didn't even bother to tell us until we were waiting for the hotel van.
Same month we had a couple near the back of the plane lift the middle armrest, and do it under a blanket. They were kind enough to take the blanket with them at the end of the flight. This spawned a conversation about the worst passengers that those flight attendants had dealt with. The winner of that conversation had found a designer glasses case, left behind in a seat, that had a telltale sticky white substance in it.
I am not saying that you will get away with it, it all depends on what the flight crew wants to do about it and how much you are disturbing the other passengers. While many FAs will turn a blind eye, do you really want to find out if you're flying with one that will not?
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38. Mind your neighbors.
This is the true story of an incredible feat that happened next to me on a plane.
Once, I was on a short flight from Barcelona to Lyon (1h30), and this couple sitting beside me, close to the window, decided it would be a fun flight. They got in the plane pretty hammered and decided this was only the beginning. They managed to order booze everytime the trolley was passing by.
Fun to watch, and not too annoying, beside the fact they were getting a bit excited along the way. When it was time to buckle up for landing, she decided to “rest” her head on his lap, while he was looking through the window.
Her head was in an awkward position, tilted inward, and started to slowly move up and down. I could not believe my eyes and slowly accepted the fact that it was happening right next to me. The guys on the other side of the alley started to snap an eye or two, while I was paralyzed in my seat.
It only lasted a couple of minutes. She finished right on time for landing and moved back in her seat and then proceeded to leave the plane giggling.
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37. A real interrogation.
I was traveling from Orlando to Jamaica with my ex-girlfriend, and we decided to go into one of the lavs in the back of the plane. She went first and I followed shortly after. After we finished, as I was walking down the aisle back to my seat, I didn't notice anyone who may have been suspicious except one of the male flight attendants who was staring at me.
We both sat back in our seats. Almost immediately, all three flight attendants came over and asked what we were doing in the bathroom together. I was a little freaked out at first and told them my girl was sick and I went to check on her. They knew I was full of it and insisted I tell the truth.
So we both admitted what we did, and they started asking us all sorts of questions. We are both skinny so it wasn't hard to maneuver. At this point everyone around us was interested and started asking us questions.
About 15 minutes later, they came back to us and presented us with a certificate congratulating us on joining the mile high club, which they all signed, including the pilots.
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36. Plus a free souvenir.
Last January, I embarked on a trip to the Bahamas with my girlfriend. We left NYC and had a connecting flight on JetBlue. As I don't often fly with a significant other, we decided to just go for it!
Upon exiting the restroom, I was dismayed to find a line of patrons waiting to use it, some of whom had a knowing smirk on their faces. I felt a little bad; I didn't know we were making people wait! Anyway, I returned to my seat, feeling proud of myself for entering the famed mile-high club.
Moments later, a male flight attendant reached over the little old lady sitting next to us, with something in his hand. As I took whatever he was handing me, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, "Welcome to the club." I looked down and two of those wing pins were in my hand.
35. Three's not a crowd.
My ex managed to join the club with two people he had met on a plane to Australia. He got escorted off the plane, banned from flying with Delta, interviewed by federal police, then let go. My first question was about how they fit. Apparently international flights often have larger lavatories for those with wheelchairs.
34. Just plane gross.
I worked for a private aviation company. A bunch of men had a *ahem* group experience on one of the private jets. That particular aircraft does have a flight attendant assigned, but the crews will let their clients get away with most things as long as it doesn't disrupt the safety of the flight. In short, the plane has since been dubbed the Love Jet. It was down for several months getting cleaned and reupholstered. That group of men got the bill.
33. Retribution.
I dated a flight attendant for a while. She said that what they would sometimes do is just unlock the door from the outside and walk away. The couple would then often knock the door open and fall out.
32. Permission granted.
I took the easy way out. I was with my girlfriend on a long flight. She was game for it, so I went up and asked the flight attendant if she would mind if we used the bathroom together. She said sure, just try not to be too long. And off we went.
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31. Jetblew.
I was on a red-eye flight from Sacramento to NYC and it was somewhat empty. I had a window seat. There was an old man sitting next to me and a couple in the row in front of mine. As I was falling asleep, I noticed that the woman in the front was resting her head on the guy's lap. "Oh, okay. She must be tired", I thought.
I wake up a few minutes later to the flight attendant scolding the couple in front, telling them that no, do not do that. I kind of suspected what was going on, but I didn't really care. I was too tired to think about this further. I try to go back to sleep when a head pillow fell in between the couple's seat and the floor of my row. I paid no attention, went back to sleep.
I wake up to the flight attendant scolding them even louder, telling the couple that they were disgusting and should be ashamed of themselves.
A few hours later, we land in JFK, and we are told the Federal Marshals need to come on board. Two feds come and escort the couple away. The old man sitting next to me tells the flight attendant that the couple had left a pillow and she told him that he better not touch it.
I think they were banned from the airline, but am not sure.
30. The no-pants dance.
My friend is a flight attendant.
She saw a couple that had a blanket spread out over the two of them while sitting in their seats. She also noticed that the mans pants were completely off and stuffed under his seat. It was a night flight and the lights were off so she sat in the seat behind him and pulled the pants out of from under the seat.
The guy had to walk off the flight with the blanket wrapped around his waist. She was laughing so hard telling me this story that she almost couldn't even get it out.
29. Naughty potty.
Imagine having to explain this to a flight attendant before the plane takes off, every single time you fly:
"Before we get underway, I just want you to know that I have a serious medical condition. In the event that I have to excuse myself to the restroom, I will absolutely need my wife's help, which itself is humiliating enough. But I'm letting you know ahead of time to avoid a repeat of the last time I was on an airplane, where the flight attendant completely humiliated us in front of everyone because she assumed we must be getting intimate in the airplane bathroom. Do you understand? Yes? Could you please discreetly pass this along to the other flight attendants? Thank you."
By giving that explanation beforehand, my wife and I have had no problems being intimate in airplanes four times in a row now.
28. What a strange ride it's been.
There was this old guy who had a ton of drinks on the plane ride. Then, during a medical emergency claimed he was not only a doctor but also a licensed pilot. After refusing to provide identification proving that he was a doctor, he asked if I was interested in going to the bathroom with him. The answer was no.
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27. We'll always have Delta 6579.
Former flight attendant here. On a flight a fellow flight attendant encountered an attempt in the first class bathroom and before realizing she just said, "Sorry, one person in the washroom at a time." They just shrugged and went back to their seats and the man just said, "Oh well, we have the last time."
A different flight attendant once discovered two people in the act, gave them a slight scare, then her and the in-charge gave them a bit of a private congratulations afterwards.
26. Captain Cool.
When I was a passenger on a rather small plane, I saw the flight attendant knock on the door to the cockpit. The captain came out, and the flight attendant went in and closed the door. The captain stood by the door for about 10 to 15 minutes, mingled with passengers, etc., then picked up some little phone looking thing and talked into it. Out comes the flight attendant, hair all messed up and adjusting her outfit. The cockpit was so tiny I can't imagine anything too crazy went on.
25. Lav at it.
Flight Attendant, checking in! I've only encountered it a few times in my 5 year career. It was almost always on red eyes or overnights to Europe. We had one on a flight to Rome that was rather interesting. The couple didn't know each other at the start of the flight, and despite being on opposite ends of business class, somehow found a way to be in the same seat mid-flight. They decided to go at it sans-blanket, at which point we had to ask them to separate for the rest of the flight.
On a different flight, I had a couple ask if they could stand in the galley for a few minutes to stretch their legs. They were very polite, and I said sure and went back to reading my book. I made it halfway down the page, when I heard her voicing what was happening, and I turned and looked and the two were against the coffee makers together. I promptly told them to remove themselves from the galley and either finish up in the lav, or head back to their seats and keep their hands to themselves. If I can't get it on in my galley, no one can get it on in my galley.
My whole take on it is, as long as you aren't doing it in public, you're being quiet about it, and you haven't been acting suspicious the entire flight, if you want to go in the lav together then have at it. It's certainly not high on the list of places I'd want to have be intimate, especially given that the lav is cramped, smelly, and the liquid on the floor isn't water... But to each their own.
24. Couple of jerks.
Flight attendant here!
My old airline was a Delta connection and we only had Dash-8 planes, so I was the only flight attendant on board. One flight, while I was picking up trash, I saw two gentlemen, um, being intimate under one of blankets that we provide on the plane for everyone to use. I didn't say anything because the flight wasn't full and they weren't being obnoxious.
At the end of the flight I see them fold up that same blanket and as they went to put it back in the overhead bin I hollered out, "Nope! That blanket is yours now! We don't want it." Needless to say they hurried off the plane when we landed.
Also never use a blanket that didn't come packaged.
23. Lost in translation.
Once I was flying from New York to Las Vegas to meet up with some friends and there was a guy next to me who was clearly pretty interested in chatting, so we had a very generic small talk conversation and then I started watching a movie.
Mid-movie I had to use the bathroom, so I asked if I could get past him, he said something and gestured what I thought meant "oh want me to move" and I just was doing my not 'actually listening and yeah yeah I have to get past' reaction.
He walks out into the aisle so I can get out of our row, but he is between me and the nearest bathroom, so I move a step or two down the aisle so he can get back into our row of seats but instead he starts walking toward the bathroom. I thought, well fine, I guess he will go to the other one since both vacant signs are lit up.
But then he walks just past the bathrooms and doesn't try and open either of them, but oh well, I have to urinate. So I go in and within a few seconds someone seems to be trying to open the door, I say "just a minute" or something. It jiggles a few more times, and then I hear the guy from the seat next to me's voice. Something like "let me know when you are ready" or something.
Anyhow, I finish up and open the door and he's standing right in front of it and starts trying to get in, so I just squeeze past him and have to push him a bit and run back to my seat.
He comes back too and sits right back next to me, and we both sit in silence for the remainder of the flight.
22. Let the man finish.
On a late night flight, I was sitting in the back galley half asleep when I noticed two of the passengers kissing. I think nothing of it, because people lose all boundaries on planes and I started setting up the service trolley.
As soon as the seatbelt sign goes off, the lady gets up and goes to the bathroom. Nothing strange there, but after a few minutes a line starts to form until the gentleman pushes his way to the front and starts trying to open the lock.
I lept up knocked his hand away and told him to sit down. He turned to me with the saddest expression I have ever seen and just said, "but, I need to finish with her!" I almost couldn't stop myself trying to hold in a laugh.
Needless to say, we kept a keen eye on him for the rest of the flight and one of my colleagues had a word with the lady.
Photo by Tim Gouw from Pexels
21. Do NOT go in there!
The closest thing to seeing someone trying to get into the mile high club was when I was on a flight where I saw one of the flight attendants with one of the pilots.
Now, the thing to keep in mind was this was before 9/11, when the cockpit wasn't kept so securely locked. There was a bit of a bug spreading around the plane, which I was asked to take care of since I was the only doctor on board.
I made my way to the cockpit to inform the pilot of the condition of the passengers and as soon as I open the door, I see the flight attendant being intimate with the pilot.
20. Just do it.
I was working a red-eye flight, first class with only 16 people there. The seats have a pretty decent sized gap between them. A couple had been drinking and obviously flirting for some time now. I was done with the service so I was just hanging out in the galley. I do a quick walk through the cabin to see how everyone’s doing, and that’s when I saw the guy reaching over the large armrest in order to make moves. She is clearly enjoying it. I think the worst thing about it was that with the distance between the two seats, it just looked so darn obvious what he was doing. I honestly didn’t care that much so I just crept back to my jumpseat and continued to watch my Netflix show.
19. Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
I have been 'that guy' who really, really had to urinate and was waiting for a free toilet. When the first one left the bathroom, the door was re-locked and then the second sheepishly left... oh and they were sitting in the same row as me but across the aisle... that was awkward on a 9 hour flight.
18. It was worth it.
There was an episode of 1000 Ways where a couple tried to join the Mile High Club and when they got in the bathroom the plane hit turbulence. The couple got shook around and died from concussions. Mile high or mile die?
17. Right down to business.
I’ve been a flight attendant for 3 years and I’ve never caught anyone. I did have a coworker tell me she had two people in first class (during sleep time with all the lights off) having relations in one of their seats.
16. Dad joke alert.
I am a flight attendant. As a guy was walking off the plane, he looked me straight in the eye and asked “who do I talk to about joining the mile high club?” My reply “don’t be that guy. Nobody likes that guy.”
Photo by Valentin Perret from Pexels
15. Golden opportunity.
I'm a flight attendant. My girlfriend came on one of my layovers recently, and we had a very long delay to get back home. The flight that left before us was booked light, so they re-accommodated all of the remaining passengers to that flight. When we finally flew back to base, we had no passengers, so my girlfriend decided to stay on my flight and be the only passenger. Looking back, I probably missed an opportunity.
14. In-flight entertainment.
I was flying from Bali to Thailand and was seated between two girls from the U.K. that were friends. We start talking and I am telling them a story about how just before I got on the plane there was this couple aggressively kissing. They start laughing, and one goes “like this?” And they then both lean over me and start kissing for about 30 seconds. I just sat there in disbelief.
13. That was surprising.
I once was serving refreshments late at night and I suddenly stopped by a gentleman who was very surprised by my presence. I soon noticed something was going on under the blanket on his lap. It was pretty shocking cause it was a guy in Kandoora and a lady in Abaya (traditional Muslim attire), but it helped with the camouflage since there were so many layers of clothing around. I just said, "guys, please, we are landing soon."
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12. What a trooper.
Joining the mile high club was easy. All I did was help my girlfriend fake limp her way to the toilet. I go inside the toilet to assist her and no one looked twice.
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11. Flight of a lifetime.
I'm not a flight attendant, but I remember a couple in their late 30s who mentioned something about how they'd saved all their money for this "once in a lifetime experience." They chartered an hour's worth of flight, got in, and had relations as soon as they were ready. Needless to say, this was against charter policy and basic human decency.
I called them after we landed and said that they'd have to pay for cleaning. I also asked why they did it in spite of the policy and they said: "Joining the mile high club is on our bucket list and we saved our money to cross it off in style." The clean-up bill came out to 2 hours worth of chartered flight.
10. Noted.
I have had plenty of people being intimate in their seats, (side note, we all know what's going on) and people have actually asked if they could spruce it up in the bathroom. I allow it because usually they leave within a few seconds and realize our low budget airlines bathroom (rhymes with fear it) will probably give them a disease and there's not much space. Some of our flight attendants have relations in the back galleys on red eyes or go in the cockpit with the pilots.
9. No biggie.
I was caught once on a flight to Texas from Seattle with my girlfriend. It was a red eye, only a few people onboard, and most were seemingly passed out. There were no flight attendants in sight. I told my girlfriend to meet me in the furthest bathroom in the back of the cabin exactly 5 minutes after I got up from my seat. There was an elderly couple and a few others back there but there couldn't have been more than 4 people in the last 5 rows, and they were all asleep.
I made it in and waited. I heard her little knock at the door. So I cracked it open and in she came. I then heard a knock at the door. I said "occupied" but they knocked again and said, "Sir, please come out. We know what's going on."
I proceeded to try as quietly as possible to maneuver my girlfriend behind the door, and cracked it open. "I'm sorry what?" I said. Only inches away from my face, the flight attendant said, "Don't make a scene. Just come out alone now. Leave your wife in there and go back to your seat before we have to make a deal out of this."
She whispered through the door to my girlfriend, who was clearly visible, to come out after a few minutes of me leaving. I was beet red and it seemed like all of those sleeping individuals were now awake and staring at me. I walked to my seat with my head hung and the flight attendant gave me the weirdest look, almost as if to say I'm disappointed.
I sat down and out came my girlfriend a few minutes later just as red as I was. I don't know who said anything or if they just saw us but it was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I will never attempt it again.
8. The pilot is my wingman.
Back when my wife and I were heading out on our honeymoon, we were doing the typical wait in the airport. It was a late night flight on a small plane out of a regional airport, so there was only going to be four of us on the plane total. My wife was wearing her veil so it was pretty obvious we were on a honeymoon.
As we were headed out to board, the Captain was in the cabin. He greeted us and asked if we had gotten a limo for the wedding. We told him no and then he replied, "Well, this will be your limo. The other two people missed the flight, so it's just the two of you." We headed to the exit row seats since they were open. After the flight attendant was doing a special pre-flight cabin service for us, she asked if we wanted any drinks on the house.
We both ordered drinks, and when she brought them back she also brought a few extra blankets and said: "The Captain said if you make a mess you gotta clean it up." She handed us the drinks and blankets and headed to her seat. They turned off all the cabin lights and we started on our way.
Best flight ever.
I may not be the Captain of the mile high club, but I like to think of my self as a first class flyer.
7. Now is not the time.
Former Air Marshal here. I never saw anyone join the Mile High Club but my buddy Chuck caught someone by themselves.
Chuck is just sitting there watching a movie and he notices the guy next to him put his hand under his blanket. He doesn’t think anything of it. Next thing he knows the guy starts moving. Most people would just pretend it wasn’t happening but Chuck is someone with no concern for social graces. He hit the guy with his book and loudly said: “what the heck are you doing?”
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6. The right line at the right time.
I did this with a very horny but crazy Ex on a college trip to Europe. We were on a busy daytime flight from NY to England. We decided to wait until the flight attendants were busy serving lunch so no one was in the back area where they prepare everything. I went first and told her to meet me a few minutes later and knock. Getting in wasn't a problem. She was a very petite girl so it wasn't difficult to get in on in the bathroom. We quietly, quickly got to it and finished. Everything went great, I even got to watch myself in the mirror for a bit. Only problem was I heard a woman waiting for the bathroom. I thought quickly, got myself together and told my girlfriend to wait a few minutes to leave. I stepped out of the bathroom, closed the door turn to the woman and said, "I took the nastiest dump ever in there. You might want to wait a few minutes. its really bad." This sweet brunette lady in her forty looked at me laughed and said, "thanks for the warning" and decide to go to another bathroom. I don't know about you but if a complete stranger has the courtesy to warn you about the onslaught of that smell they themselves are responsible for you believe them. I sat back down, my ex met me a moment later and no one was the wiser. I'm sure if we had worse timing this wouldn't be as successful. That story wouldn't have worked if multiple people were waiting.
5. It was only gum.
I'm a flight attendant.
Couple gets on the plane in high spirits and make themselves comfortable in the last row of the plane (where out galley is), Myself and the other FA dont think much about it and go about our business. After service is done we stow the carts and I notice that there was a jacket covering the guy, and the lady was half under it. (he was in the aisle seat and she was by the window, should point out now this was not a full flight).
I'm tapping the other FA on the shoulder and whisper "Is this really happening??" The lady's hands were clearly in his pants and the guy reclined his chair all the way to enjoy what was happening.
We had thought about getting them to stop but were too uncomfortable to start a conversation and they weren't making, well, any noise, as well as we figured if the guy was gonna nut it was gonna be in his jacket. So, we went back to doing our jobs.
Guess what was stuck on the window after the flight. Spoilers, it was gum but the initial scare got us good.
Photo by Elena Buzmakova(borisova) from Pexels
4. Walk of shame.
Not a flight attendant but I have a decent story.
I was on a quick hop from Oakland to LA, while flight was about 90 minutes. It's an early bird flight, so I have a coffee, my ipod blaring MC Chris and a look on my face that said, "Not a conversationalist."
We're running late already and the FA tells us over the loud speaker that two more passengers were the cause. The flight was a third full at most and we all groaned.
So this couple finally gets on board, probably not knowing that we've been informed they're the cause of the delay. First hint of something hinky is the woman sits in the aisle seat next to me, when there are empty rows they could have taken.
She starts rambling on about visiting the OC, to which I turned up my music. I know, I'm a bit of a dick.
Anyway fast forward an hour of in incessant chatterboxing, when I see the guy she boarded with get up from his seat a few rows back and go to the only lavatories in the front of the plane. Lady gets up and goes in, but I wasn't paying close attention, I was just thankful for five minutes of silence.
Now I fly southwest often enough at the time to know their we're landing soon speech. FA gets up, and thanks everyone for flying etc. I key in that the couple is still in the lav, where the FA is standing right in front of with the mic.
It dawns on me what might be happening when said FA breaks out into a six minute rendition of You are so Beautiful to Me, even as the plane is banking sharply on approach.
By the time that Straight Baller was done singing the pair had no time to dawdle as we were in full landing mode. So they were forced to exit the obviously same stall while everyone's attention was glued to some FA singing for a looong time. When the woman sat down next to me she was beyond mortified and didn't say another word the rest of the time before standing up to leave.
Suffice to say that flight attendant was my personal hero that day.
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3. A full-service flight.
I'm a member of a mile high club through chance.
Last year I was going through a very messy break-up which messed up my life to no end. It was a long distance relationship for a while as I was living in the UK at the time and she cheated on me repeatedly while keeping me in the dark. What's more is that almost all our shared friends knew and none of them told me either.
Anyhow, I was flying home for a much deserved break, flying to Frankfurt to catch my connecting flight. It was one of them smaller Airbus planes with two row of seats (three on each side). I had the aisle seat as always but was happy that my two adjacent seats were empty and I could be left alone to myself. But all of a sudden there comes this tall and fit looking girl asking if I can let her in as she is sitting right next to me.
She was very friendly and a nice conversation starter. It turned out that she was a flight attendant for the same airlines I was flying with, catching a free flight home for an extended holiday before she was back in circulation for the busy Christmas flying season. I am an avid aviation enthusiast and took this as a chance to ask endless questions about how they do what they do which were all answered very thoroughly every time. She also asked about me and why I looked so depressed and I told her about the break-up and how it happened. She was a great listener and as the first person whom I told the ordeal to she was very sympathetic towards the whole thing.
Anyhow, as part of our conversation we talked about how they might rest in the plane on long flights and she told me how there are these bunk beds either in the back of the plane or on the lower floors (accessible via a cramped elevator) that they can disappear to during long flights to take a nap. After hearing my ordeal she suggested to give me a tour of the service area to cheer me up which I happily accepted. She went in the back and after a while came back and asked me to follow her.
It was fascinating to say the least, but the most unexpected part was she was openly coming on to me which I gladly complied. We ended up getting it on in the service toilet in the back. It was great.
While we never exchanged phone numbers or kept in touch, at that stage in my life I was so hurt and so abandoned I was too damn broken to function. That spontaneous conversation and things that happened afterwards were the only thing that kept me sane somehow.
Photo by graham wizardo from Pexels
2. You filthy animals.
I actually joined the mile high club about 5 years ago.
I (M) had known the girl (F) for a few weeks prior, met while travelling and found out we were going to be on the same 10hr flight home. We talked about doing it beforehand and made a plan. Once they started to serve dinner, I would go into the bathroom. Two minutes later, she would knock and I'd let her in. My friend that I was travelling with knew what we were doing and was standing "watch". I told him wait 6-7min, and when the coast was clear, knock on the door (we made a secret knock so I would know it was him vs. some random stranger). Then I would come out, and 2min later, she would come out.
It's important to mention that I went about 2 weeks without anything prior to this, so I was well built up and ready to go. I didn't plan on lasting more than a minute or two under these circumstances, so the 6-7 min I told my friend should be plenty of time.
Anyways the time comes and I head into the bathroom. Two minutes later I hear the knock, and she joins. We're both small people, but those washrooms are tiny and it's extremely uncomfortable trying to find a position that actually works. I would absolutely not recommend trying this if you're 6ft+ and/or over 200lbs.
After a few minutes we find a position that works, but now I'm struck with so much adrenaline and nerves that for the first time in my life, I was getting performance anxiety. I knew we had limited time and I had made it this far already, I needed to complete the task. A quick minute or two of foreplay and I was good to go.
As anticipated, I didn't last very long at all. I wasn't wearing protection either. I pulled out before finishing, and two weeks worth of my troops went shooting all across the bathroom - on the wall, the floor, the door, it was everywhere. Obviously I reached for the toilet paper to clean up, but right as I do I hear the knocks on the door... it was time to go. I quickly did up my belt buckle and left, and two minutes later she left as well.
I don't know if she fully cleaned up after me, but regardless I felt bad for the next person using that washroom. And when I spoke to my friend about it, he told me he was too lazy to climb over the people beside him so he just asked some confused, random girl to knock on the bathroom door. I think she figured out what was going on pretty soon after.
Image by Ale Hidalgo from Pixabay
1. On a serious note.
Was flying from Pittsburgh to Houston, first leg to Atlanta, and then to Houston. It was a night flight from ATL to HOU. There was a 2+ hour layover in ATL. I had my laptop and found a seat by a plug, and put a movie on. (this was pre 9/11) There was a really cute woman who looked bored. I went over to her and told her I was about to watch a movie and she was welcome. She thanked me and came and sat next to me, we had the laptop set up on top of our carry on. She was wearing a loose collared tank top and some pretty loose legged shorts. No bra, and halfway through the movie she looped her arm through mine and we kind of snuggled watching it. I realized I could see down her top and pretty much all of one breast and much of another. She looked up at one point and realized I was staring, she winked and said it was okay.
Anyway, after the movie we talked and we were both single and both lived in Houston so we talked about maybe dating. We kissed, and made out a bit, but nothing serious. The area we were in was pretty empty and when the plane came, the plane had a lot of empty seats. She sat next to me and asked if I had any other movies, I did. So we put my laptop on the tray and started watching another movie. I had some earbuds and we each got a bud. It was dark and we had the crappy thin blankets. But it was cool and we snuggled watching the movie. I was in Cargo shorts. and she had her hand on my thigh and started running her hand up them and I put my hand on her thigh and did the same. It quickly progressed to a full hookup right there in our seats.
Afterward, she went to the washroom to clean up and when she came back she gave me something. It was her underwear. She wanted me to have them as a keepsake. The plane landed, my friends picked me up and her sister picked her up. When we were saying goodbye, she gave me what was, honestly one of the top 5 kisses of my life. She asked if this was just mid-flight fling or if I was serious about dating. I told her I would love to date her. Well we did date a bit afterwards but she had just gotten out of a long term relationship, and I was just a cute guy that became a rebound. (she had flown back to visit family after the her fiance broke off the engagement to give him time to move out of their apartment. I just happened to be the first nice guy to talk to her and she really just wanted to let her freak out a bit. I think we dated 4 months, but really, other than both liking John Cusak romcoms, we did not have enough in common to keep a real relationship.) We are still friends. This was 23 years ago and she is married and has a kid that just graduated High School. (makes me feel old.)
As for if we were seen. Maybe, there were several empty seats around us, the flight attendants never came by, in hindsight, that is probably because they knew what we were doing.
