Married People From Around The World Share The Weirdest Thing Their Spouse Has Ever Done
Married People From Around The World Share The Weirdest Thing Their Spouse Has Ever Done
No matter how well you think you know someone, you can never be too sure. You could spend years dating and living with a person, eventually even marrying them. You think you know everything there is to know—you know them better than you know yourself. Then one day, they do something so creepy, so out of left field, that you realize you married a complete stranger.
OK, maybe it isn't that dramatic or Gone Girl-esque. But if you've ever played witness to notably creepy behavior of your spouse, you're not alone. Here are stories of married people from around the world who recently shared the creepiest thing their spouse has ever done.
45. Just Looking Out
My husband found an app for our PC webcam that allowed him to stream to an ancient flip phone of his. He proceeded to compliment my shirt, ask me why I changed, how my sandwich tasted... it went on for hours. I started freaking out and thought someone stole his phone and was watching me.
I'd try to call him and he'd refuse to answer the call, or he would pick it up and breathe heavily. It wasn't until I was on the verge of tears that he decided to call me and explain.
I could have destroyed the man.
44. A Lick Of Sense
One night my spouse got up to get water just as I was starting to fall asleep. When she came back in the room, she crawled around the bed to my side and licked my hand, which was dangling over the edge of the bed. I woke up thinking a dog was in the room, saw her crouching down there and jumped out of the bed. I couldn't even speak for a minute because of how much it scared me and she just rolled around on the floor laughing hysterically.
43. Mothman Mystery
I woke up around three a.m. after having a nightmare about a ghost. I woke my significant other for comfort, but he turned to me and said—totally seriously—"There are no such things as ghosts, just giant mothmen that take you away while you're sleeping." He remembered nothing the next morning.
42. Having A Ball
My hair is kind of long and when I brush it, it creates hairballs. I normally just throw them away ASAP but one time I was running late and just left it in the brush. When I got home, my significant other was playing with it. I came over to grab it and he refused, saying he felt sad throwing it in the trash as it was my hair. He kept it for a few days before he forgot about it so I threw it out.
41. A Warm Warning
My wife has muttered in her sleep before. Nothing very intelligible. But one night about a year ago I came in after she was already asleep, and started getting undressed.
"Hi honey!" she says in the cheeriest, most awake voice you can imagine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't faintly hoped, at this point, that I might be about to get lucky.
"Hi? What are you still doing awake? It's after midnight."
No answer. I put on my pajamas.
"Honey?" she says as if to get my attention.
"Yeah?"
"You're gonna burn..."
I slept with one eye open that night. She did not remember in the morning.
40. Eerily Exposed
Sometimes when I shower I open my eyes to find my husband peeking through the shower curtain staring at me. Always creeps me out, but I think that is why he does it.
39. Eye Love You
She'll gaze deep into my deep blue eyes and say how much she loves them...
Then quietly adds, "I'm gonna cut them out and keep them when you pass away."
38. A Giant Scare
One of my female friends is about 6'8". One day, I was using her shower and had my eyes closed as I was washing my hair. When I opened my eyes I saw a face looking down at me over the shower. It scared the life out of me. I screamed and slipped, landing on my butt. As I curled into a ball and started crying, I heard her laughing like a maniac. I'm not sure why, but it was horrifying. If she would've peeked through the curtains, I don't think I would've been as scared.
37. A Playful Display
My spouse stood up every doll our girls own on the kitchen on the counter during the night, knowing full well I always get up for a glass of water. I flipped on the lights, had a panic attack, and had doll nightmares for months.
36. Keeping Stock
My longtime girlfriend called my college retail job using fake names to make sure I was actually at work. She would ask for me then ask about products. She was 82% normal besides that, but she thought she was clever.
35. Seven Days
My wife has long dark hair. She likes to hang it over her face like the girl from the Grudge/The Ring and lean on the outside of the bathroom door when I'm in there taking a shower. She usually sits down on the floor and waits. I'll open the bathroom door and she'll crumple in like a corpse without making any noise. So I'll see some movement out of the bottom corner of my eye, then my brain will kick in and think something is attacking my feet, then I'll scream like a crazy man and she'll be laughing on the floor. Then I'll be paranoid for a month or two, then she'll do it 10 months later when my guard is completely down.
34. 'Til Death Do Us Part
"I love you so much, that I want to buy adjacent burial plots so we can rot together."
Actually, I consider it one of the most romantic things he's said to me.
33. Grandma's Visit
A few years ago, my wife woke me up saying there was someone in the room... of course there was nothing... She proceeded to be really scared, scream, and try to hide. I tried to reassure her, but it was no help. At first, I was like, what the heck, but as it went on, it got really creepy and was freaking me out. Especially when she was saying someone was there and pointing to a particular spot about two feet away.
Eventually, after an hour or so, she fell back to sleep and so did I.
The next morning, she got a text (almost as what the heck) saying that her grandma had passed away during the night at a very similar time to when this happened. That still creeps me out to this day and she won't talk about it at all.
32. Killer Joke
When we were first dating, her mom called my house looking for her, and she was in the shower. I said, "Sorry, she can't come to the phone."
Her mom asked why.
I replied, "Well, I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer."
Three seconds of silence, followed by hysterical laughter. We got along great after that.
31. Getting Off Track
My missus tracks my iPad online, mostly because she has a nasty suspicious mind.
Occasionally, I'll lend it to a driver at work, so the iPad will spend a day visiting various interesting places in the county. He took it sea-fishing once.
30. Just Kitten Around
My ex-wife told me in all seriousness that she sometimes thought our cats were actually robots and she wanted to skin them to prove it. She said she knew that wasn't right though so she wouldn't do it. (She wasn't joking, she wasn't on illicit substances, this was normal-ish for us.)
29. Strictly Silver
This happened when my wife and I were on maybe our third date a few years ago. We went to an underground mall in Kiev that has a food court and some decent stores. Well, we were talking about the crazy prices for Levi jeans in Ukraine compared to what I pay for them off Amazon and back home when we shifted to gold and jewelry. I started to say I liked silver and I enjoy the look over gold. She then stopped dead center on the walkway and explained to me in a very matter of fact way that I was not to have a silver wedding ring and that if I wanted one of that type, I'm going to get white gold. She then said no husband of hers was going not have gold as a wedding ring.
I now have a white gold wedding ring and I quite like it.
28. Family Planning
My wife had a little vial of my seed frozen which she harvested from one of my used rubbers on the first night we were intimate. Why? She said and I quote. "In the small chance we weren't going to get married I can still have your children..."
27. In Love With Luigi
I once climbed on top of my husband while he was asleep and whispered into his ear, "I know this is what you want, baby." When he opened his eyes it was me in a full Luigi costume, including the mustache. I was trying to creep him out, but he went, "Oh...YEAH!" and tried to kiss me with the mustache and I ran away.
26. A Daunting Drive
One time, my husband and I had our in-laws watch our then one-year-old son just to drive around and have some time to ourselves. My husband tells me that he has something in mind to do and it was a surprise. We started driving to the outskirts of town and into the country.
At one point I ask him with a laugh if he was taking me to hurt me. He just looked over at me and smiled. The smile looked real enough, but just the fact that he didn't tell me right away that he wasn't going to hurt me was enough to freak me out. We had a good laugh about it, but I was wary that entire trip (he ended up taking me to see the stars, it was really nice).
He is sitting beside me right now reading H.P. Lovecraft.
25. Midnight Snack
I discovered a collection of themed photos of me on his phone. I am a heavy sleeper, and I love naps on the couch in the afternoon. During these naps, he places food objects on my face and takes pictures. I discovered these months after he started doing it.
24. Swapping Spit
He'd take a big mouthful of his drink and try to squirt it in my mouth and make me drink it. I said I thought it was gross, but his argument was, "You kiss me, why do you think it's so gross?"
23. Key To Love
My girlfriend stole and copied my apartment building key... So yeah...
22. Bugging Out
I was having dinner with a client. My wife went through my Mac history at home and turned up at the venue 30 miles away having left the babies at home with the neighbor she had never met. She thought maybe I was seeing someone else and was going to catch us. A few months later, she hired a private investigator who followed me around taking photos and bugged my car. I found out after the bug caused one of the city's biggest explosive scares and hit every national paper. After that incident, she bugged the house too. I have always been faithful, she is just really paranoid that I will run off with a fit-as-a-butcher's-dog 21-year-old.
Still married eight years now.
21. The Fish Fiasco
She destroyed a tank full of expensive saltwater fish. In her defense, I was being a jerk and she was experiencing some major mood swings following her pregnancy. Still makes me mad though. I haven't kept a saltwater tank since.
20. Invasive Inquiries
My ex-spouse regularly went through all my emails and then got ferociously angry at what she found there.
19. Keeping The Clippings
Early on in our relationship, I discovered two large mason jars full of his toenail clippings. He's lucky I stuck around long enough to marry him four years later! As for the collection of clippings: That stopped.
18. High Stakes
On our first date, my wife-to-be stabbed me with a steak knife. I still have a scar on my hand.
The best part was asking the waitress for more napkins because of the blood.
17. All An Imagination
My boyfriend spent the better part of an evening convincing me that I had imagined him. Like he was my imaginary friend that I had invented to cope with the stress of college. He stopped when I started crying.
In all fairness, we never actually lie to each other. So we kind of make a game of trying to convince the other of completely ridiculous lies. He just happened to hit an actual fear.
16. Sleeping With Sharks
One night the wife woke up and turned the lights on insisting that there were sharks in the bed.
15. Mindful Of The Mugging
On a Tuesday night, my fiancee and I fell asleep relatively early (at around nine p.m.). I woke up three hours later at exactly midnight because I had to pee. I remember looking at the clock noting it was midnight. I did my business then came back to bed. My fiancee, still asleep, started to mumble something but I didn't understand what she was saying. Eventually, as clear as day she said, "Something bad is going to happen." At this point, I'm thinking she's just talking in her sleep. But then, she repeats it, "Something bad is going to happen." But this time she then adds, "They're watching us."
I obviously freaked out. I started pushing her trying to wake her up. It took a few seconds but she finally woke up and had no recollection of what she had said. We eventually shrugged it off and I went to sleep (sort of). Fast forward two days to Thursday. I was on Facebook talking with a good friend of mine asking him how things are going and he said, "Not good man." Obviously concerned, I asked him what had happened and he began to tell me what happened, "So the other day I was leaving my friends house fairly late at night, and as I was walking to my car I was jumped by these three guys. They dragged me into their car, held me at weapon point, drove me to an ATM and forced me to empty my savings and give it to them. After I did, they started to beat me, took my wallet and phone and then eventually dropped me off miles from my car." Obviously, I'm furious because this happened to my best friend, but then I asked when did this happen and he said, "Late Tuesday night, at midnight."
14. Getting Under Her Skin
It was cold out and in a rare moment, I was warmer than my husband. He snuggled up to me as we were going to sleep and he tells me, "You're so warm. I just want to cut you open and crawl inside you and wear you like a skin."
It creeped me out and he didn't (and still doesn't) get why.
13. Next Of Skin
My ex used to pick the skin off the bottom of his foot, just sit there for hours peeling away dead skin. One day he gave me a gift a little drawstring bag full of his foot skin. I don't know what's creepier—the gift or the fact that I kept it in a box with some other random weird stuff.
12. Tasmanian Devil
A couple times a year, my husband will get out of bed confused and start talking about something crazy, only to get mad at me when I don't understand, then have no recollection of it in the morning. After ten years, I just find it amusing and play along to see how far he will go.
A couple months ago, a strange noise woke me up, and I opened my eyes to his face inches from mine, eyes closed, making slobbering, smacking noises with his mouth, no vocal sounds. I yelled at him that he was being gross and to roll over, which he did, seemingly end of story.
The next morning I had forgotten about it and was telling him about a dream I had, when he remembered having a weird dream. He said that monsters were trying to kill me and our daughters, and that he had to scare then off. He vaguely remembered having been disturbed during the dream.
I started laughing because the idea that those slobbery sounds would scare anything off was absurd. He started to show me how he had been scaring them, by making noises like the cartoon Tasmanian devil. Apparently, he was only making the mouth and tongue movements while sleeping. Neither version was the least bit frightening.
I now tease him about it regularly by calling him Taz.
11. Barging In With A Bed
I had been best friends with her for two years. Two weeks after we started dating, I moved to my first solo apartment because she was desperately allergic to my roommates' animals (and I hated my roommates). I only had a couch to sleep on which was totally cool with me, and she had an apartment. Three weeks after I moved into my apartment, she moved her bed into the apartment while I was at work. If it were anyone else, it would have been the beginning of the end, but we've been together for four years; married one year in January. Anyone who says marriage is terrible is an idiot.
10. Forced Sickness
She'd had too much to drink. It wouldn't have been too much if she'd had anything to eat at the same time, but she hadn't. She was in the bathroom throwing up and I was with her for support.
She'd been throwing up for a while but was just dry-heaving by now, but the thing was, she was obviously doing it intentionally, not as a reflexive reaction. I said to her, "You have to stop trying to throw up."
She replied, very clearly, "I want to, but she won't let me".
A chill ran down my whole body. I still married her, though.
9. Laughing Children
My girlfriend is incredibly talkative in her sleep. She usually says funny things like, "Tell that jalapeño to put some pants on!" But sometimes the stuff she does gets pretty creepy. One time I was on my iPad and she started laughing in this really thin, stiff, creepy horror movie kind of way and then jolted up (still fully asleep). She proceeded to look around the room pointing and laughing at things in the same creepy way. I could see her actually moving her head seeing something new each time. Then I asked her (since she is very awake in a lucid dream state) what she is laughing at... She says, "All the little kids in the room are laughing at me." Typing it out it doesn't sound that creepy but I was so freaked out that I jumped up and bolted to turn on the lights. Didn't sleep that well that night.
8. Behind Closed Doors
My husband is an extreme creeper but this one time he told me he was going down to the store on the corner as I was changing clothes after work. I usually close my bedroom door when I change so when I heard the door to the apartment shut and his footsteps going down the stairs I figured I was alone. All of a sudden I hear this shuffling noise in the hallway and I assumed it was the cat until I realized the cat was lying on my bed. Starting to get freaked, I holler out his name—no answer. I hear these other noises and am convinced someone is there so I throw open my bedroom door to find my husband standing quietly at the door listening to me in the bedroom. Scared the absolute life out of me. I read him the riot act and he just did this creepy laugh and then pretended to leave two more times. I have no idea what exactly he was up to but it was more than a little disturbing.
7. Angry Little Spoon
My wife will sometimes mumble or talk very incoherently in her sleep. Usually, it's more or less gibberish and can even be cute. BUT, one night about a year ago, I kinda half woke up in the middle of the night and rolled over and found my wife on her side facing away from me.
I, of course, took this as a perfect opportunity to spoon. I scooted over behind her and just as I put my arm around her she shrugged me off, almost instinctively. So I waited for a second and tried again. Slightly re-positioning myself I went to scoop her up again, this time, however, she didn't simply shrug me off. Nope. This time, just as I made contact with her, she threw my arm off as she sat up, turned to me wide eyed, and said in an almost demonic voice, "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" Then she immediately rolled back onto her side motionless. Nearly pooping myself I pretty much vaulted to the opposite edge of the bed where I stayed the rest of the night.
The best part? The next morning I awoke in a near panic to her trying to spoon me. Asking as to why I was so squirmy, I told her what had happened during the night. She began to laugh hysterically saying she doesn't remember. To this day, I always poke her before I try to cuddle during the night.
6. My Precious
Ok, so she is a huge LOTR (Lord of the Rings) fan. She often talks in her sleep about how she is joining the main characters in epic quests. Anyway, it usually doesn't go too deep into detail but she ends up describing what she would do with Legolas, Aragorn or even Bilbo if she could get intimate with them. She forgets these dialogues every morning. I, being as smart as I am, take note of these descriptions and pursue doing the positions or whatnot the next time we get intimate, much to her pleasure. Also, her vivid hallucinations are most well described and detailed after we see a movie from the series. Perhaps I should write a LOTR version of 50 Shades of Gray and make millions.
5. Monkey Business
I used to have long hair (27 inches) and terrible dandruff. I've since gone to a doctor and got it taken care of. (I had to cut all my hair off, use medicated shampoo, and now I can let it grow again.)
However, before I got the medicated shampoo, my girlfriend would start picking at my scalp at random times. Sitting on the couch during a movie? Whilst I'm driving? Cuddling after intimacy?
It was weird. She said it was similar to the fascination people have with picking their own scabs, she just liked picking.
4. Sleeping Selfies
This is about my friend, who's dating a girl who could be called crazy (my significant other and I definitely call her that). It's largely that she's controlling and always has to know where he is, but occasionally she'll do things that are a little bit odd.
The most striking example occurred after my friend and this girl had been dating for about four months. She would spend the night at my friend's fairly often, and they would have largely uneventful nights, or so my friend thought. He came to me one day with a mildly disturbed expression on his face and handed me his phone. On it were about twelve pictures, all from different nights, of my friend and his girlfriend sleeping, obviously taken by the not-actually-sleeping girlfriend as some kind of strange, creepy selfie set that she took on my friend's phone for some bizarre reason. He told me he was pretty skeeved out by this, but kept dating the girl from some weird reason.
I found this to be, while rather creepy, also kind of morbidly hilarious, and told my significant other about it. Then I started doing it to him occasionally. I don't think he finds it as funny as I do.
3. Man With The Mustache
I got home late from work one night and crawled into bed, ready to snuggle after a long day. My boyfriend, who was "asleep" facing the wall, turned around and kissed me... Except, when I left for work that day, he had a beard... and at that point, I had never seen him without it. He had shaved it off, leaving a bushy mustache. I was terrified by the stranger in the bed.
He proceeded to laugh hysterically while I wiped away tears.
2. Stalker Spouse
I'm just dating but my soon-to-be-wife is a stalker, like legit. I love her but she's able to find out everything about everyone through the internet and I'm unable to hide even the most minor details (such as Christmas surprises) from her. She should be hired by the CIA.
1. Picture Perfect
It was while we were dating. He sent out a Christmas Card of us when we were skiing. Except we had never gone skiing. He found a pic of me, my ex-husband, and our kids, and photoshopped his face in over my ex-husband.
The Midnight Alarm
A frantic late-night interruption catapulted me from sleep into a state of pure terror. My wife woke me up at 2 AM, her wails echoing through our quiet home. She clutched her lower abdomen, writhing in agony that made my heart clench in fear. My panic amplified when she suddenly passed out on our way to the ER, her body going limp against the car seat. The hospital staff quickly wheeled her away, leaving me in the cold sterility of the waiting room. I watched the hands of the clock make full circles multiple times, each passing second amplifying the knot of worry in my stomach. Finally, a doctor approached me, his face a mask of professional concern. 'Sir, where was she 3 days ago?' he asked. Confusion swirled in my mind as I replied, 'Out of town to visit her mum. Is she okay?' The doctor's face paled, his next words felt like a punch to the gut, 'I'm afraid we need to get the authorities involved.'
I sat frozen, the words echoing in my head, turning into a nightmare that refused to end. The doctor explained that they had found a rare and deadly spider, indigenous to a region halfway across the world, nestled in her clothing. It had bitten her, resulting in her condition. He went on to say it was impossible for the spider to be here naturally. It was as if a sinister puzzle was slowly coming together, the pieces dark and ominous. As the realization dawned on me, a chilling thought crept into my mind - had someone intentionally planted that deadly creature to harm my wife? I sat there, surrounded by the hum of hospital machines, my heart pounding with a rhythm of fear and dread. This was not a tragic accident; this was a malevolent act of harm.
END.
