People From Around The World Share Satisfying Stories Of Petty Vengeance
There have been times in all of our lives when we've really, deeply wanted to get back at someone else for a slight -- perceived or actual. Most of the time we are too polite, too bound by the norms of society to get even with whoever wronged us, but sometimes we get our vengeance in truly petty ways.
Petty vengeance may be as simple and relatively harmless as switching the salt and sugar before someone puts it in their coffee, or hiding around a corner and spooking them when they walk by. Sometimes petty vengeance goes farther, though — maybe too far.
These are stories from internet denizens all around the world describing the time they got their petty vengeance. Let's hope none of them went too far trying to get even!
91. We Don't Know Her
We live in an apartment block, and occasionally have new people move in and out. Yesterday we encountered a new resident, a short red-haired lady who, through dwarfism and food, manages to be about as wide, as she is tall.
My boyfriend greeted her with a simple "Hello." He also tried to say "welcome" but she cut him off with, "Shut up, I don't know you." Okay, not the sociable type, neither are we, best to not get friendly then!
Today when returning from grocery shopping we found her trying to pick the lock with what looks like a piece of a paperclip because you know, that's going to work. She's apparently been at it a while because before we could open the door with our key, a patrol car stopped and an officer called out to her.
The officer asked her why she was breaking in, to which she responded she lived here. She turned to us and said, "They know me."
My boyfriend smiled and said, "I don't know you."
We entered the building after the officer asked us to confirm, and my boyfriend repeated: "We don't know her."
Can't wait to have more contact with her...
90. Laundry Wars
I used to be kind of an idiot. I've really mellowed out since. But sometime around 2001-2002, I had an incident in my university dorm laundry room.
Anyway, I'm a freshman living in the dorms, it's the weekend, and I'm doing laundry. We had an unwritten rule in the dorm laundry room: if you don't attend to your laundry, it's totally cool for someone to pull it out and throw it on the table (wet or dry). If you don't like it, just promptly attend to your laundry when the washer or dryer turns off.
I don't like people touching my laundry, so I always set an alarm to be there when it's done (on my digital watch, not my phone!). I wash my clothes, throw them in the dryer, and set my timer. Soon after, my watch goes off and I walk back to the laundry room only to find my dryer load completely wet and on the table. Oh heck no! Someone pulled my stuff from the dryer, only to dump it out and dry their stuff for free.
Well, good news: I had more quarters, so I could dry my stuff just fine. Actually, I had enough quarters for my anonymous friend too -- why didn't they just ask? So I grab their clothes and throw them in an open washing machine with six of my spare quarters. Actually, wait -- I can drop another quarter in for a heavy cycle, which entitles you to an additional rinse and spin! I happen to have another quarter, so I do. The heavy cycle takes over an hour and a half to complete.
Now's a good time to mention a nice feature the washing machines had that the dryers didn't: they locked while in operation. The homie would have been stuck for about 100 minutes waiting for another chance to dry their clothes. I hope they made better choices the second time.
I was kind of a petty jerk as a baseline, and I look back with a bit of a shock that I didn't dump in some bleach or turn the water hot. I'm glad I've outgrown that kind of thing, but I look back with some pleasure at that little guy standing up to some random inconsiderate person.
89. Thrown Under The Bus
I was at a subway station a couple of days ago getting back from university.
As I got off the subway to line up and go up the escalators, this middle-aged lady nudged me out of the way just as I got onto the steps, and made me trip over and fumble my bag. She stared at me and went on her way. I was right behind her going up, and she probably saved like 0.01 seconds getting on the escalator before me.
As we made our way to the exit and I got up to the door frame, she went out of her way to nudge past me again. She gave me another stare as she went through the exit and stood there looking at me like she couldn't believe I tried to go first or something.
There's a bus terminal that connects to the subway on the street level, and we ended up waiting at the same stop. She was the first in line, and I was right behind her.
When the bus finally arrived, she really took her time fumbling through her purse, talking on her phone, and looking for her bus card. As she was searching for her card, she ended up dropping it right at the tip of my boot. She was still busy talking on the phone while searching through her wallet.
I thought about it for a second and decided to lightly slide her card underneath the bus with my foot.
Eventually, she realized that she might have dropped her card, so she packed her wallet back in her purse, hung up the phone and looked around for her card. As she looked, she began getting increasingly worried, scanning everywhere for where she could have dropped it.
I nudged her out of the way, gave her a stare, and made my way onto the bus.
I sat happily on one of the seats. I saw her flustered and panicked, as the next bus was coming in half an hour. The bus started to depart, and I opened the window and told her with glee, "Maybe you should check under the bus!"
I watched her for as long as I could until she was out of sight, and enjoyed the rest of my commute home.
88. Punished For Coming In Early
I work in an office with flexible hours. We can start anytime from 8 am to 9:30 am.
I’m always in the office at 8:15 am. Usually, if work comes in urgently in the morning, my supervisor gives it to me to complete since I’m one of the few in the team presently in the office.
Well, yesterday I came into the office at my usual time and one of my colleagues was working on an urgent task given to him at 8 am. He had to pause the task for 20 minutes so my supervisor told me to complete it while he’s away from the office. I couldn’t even have my breakfast or even drink water because of how urgent this task was.
I was still working on it when he came back. He asked “how are you going with the task?” and I explained that I’m still working on it and that I found a few mistakes and showed them to him.
He puts his hands up in the air and says, “Nope. Not my responsibility anymore” and walks off. Really? I was livid. But this needed to be done and I have no time for drama.
I finished work 5:30 pm that day. Before I left, my supervisor told me that she got a HUGE workload given to her and that she will need to give it to someone urgently in the morning to complete. I knew that my colleague would be in the office at 8 am again.
Guess who is walking in the office at 9:15 am today with a cup of fresh coffee and breakfast?
87. A Bus Seat Built For Two
So I'm on the way home from the shops and I decide to take the bus. Really, it's only about three stops away and I should probably walk, but it's the middle of Australian summer, I'm wearing thongs, my bags are heavy and, most significantly, I'm lazy.
So I jump on the bus home and it's pretty full. No problem -- as I said, only going three stops, not far, more than happy to stand. I'm shuffling through the aisle past other standing people though when suddenly, about halfway down, I see it. A middle-aged woman hogging a whole seat to herself.
Now I catch public transport every day and let me tell ya if you take up a whole two-person seat by yourself when other folks are standing, mate, that's 5 years gulag in my book. Not only is this woman not sharing the seat, but she's also moved herself to the aisle side so as to discourage anyone else from sitting down.
Not on my watch.
Now previously I had been perfectly content to stand, but that's all over now. I walk on over to this woman, look her straight in the eyes and with my nicest young man voice, broad smile and most unwavering gaze ask if I can please sit there. She glares daggers at me but relents -- but not by shuffling over though. Instead, she stands in place with a huff and turns her shoulder a few centimeters to the right to indicate that yeah, there's a seat, but if I want it I can squeeze past.
I am not in the least bit dissuaded. Happily, I squeeze past the standing woman and gosh, well I sure am a big clumsy boy carrying some bulky shopping aren't I, and there is just not a lot of room between these seats. It takes me a few seconds to shuffle my lumbering butt all the way in, by which time the lady's taken a few whacks of the old green bag and my grocery-laden backpack, not to mention been stumbled over once or twice by my big ol' un-coordinated feet (it's so hard, walking in thongs).
I sit down in contented silence, she lowers her huffing self down next to me, I spread out and brush up a little with my hairy legs, she fixes me with a glare. We sit in silence for two minutes. And then, wouldn't you know it, my stop arrives and this woman is forced to get to her feet once more so we can do the whole dance again on the way out. Slap, go the grocery bags. Slap, slap, slap.
I hope you enjoyed your personal space, witch. Next time just shove over.
86. Yearbook Humiliation
So flashback to grade 1 and little ol' me was happy being a little child. Until this girl in my class, let's call her Mary, uninvited me to her birthday party so she could invite someone else. I was such a sad little nugget after that!
Anyways, for the next 10 years, Mary and I end up going to the same schools since we lived in the same school district. In elementary and middle school she would bully me and anyone not in the "in" crowd but would get away with it because her dad was a teacher. Needless to say, Mary was not in my good books.
A few years later, it's grade 9 and I am part of my middle school's yearbook class, where we got to design and create the yearbook from photos taken at school events. One of the pages that we need to create was a talent show page. Mary happened to participate in the talent show doing a singing performance.
I saw an opportunity. I browsed through the photos of Mary singing at the talent show and found the one where her face was the most gloriously contorted and screwed up, as she was singing her high note. I blew that photo way up and placed it in the middle of the page, carefully choosing background colors that wouldn't take too much attention away from that moment in time where her visage was dishevelled and distorted. And that's how we published the yearbook.
I'm 21 now and almost have an undergrad degree, and I still think back to that glorious moment and pat myself on the back. I bought a copy of that yearbook so I will always have that revenge as a treasured memory.
85. I'm Rubber, You're Glue
Years ago I was working for a company where I had an office and the neighboring department was all open plan. We shared coffee facilities so I would often speak to the people in this department over a coffee. There was one idiot called Trevor in that department who would only talk to people on his desk phone on a conference call -- every conversation. Needless to say, the rest of the department was annoyed with this loud and obnoxious person screaming on the blower.
As a senior guy, I casually raised this with Trevor. He responded by saying "you can go and get [bleeped]!" Now, as he was in a different department I had no authority over him and his boss was a moron too so I would have got a similar response.
After Trevor went home, I went to his desk and accidentally dropped some glue into the microphone on his phone. The next day it was set rock hard.
Of course, the phone rang and he answered it on a conference call, but of course, the person couldn't hear him. He started screaming into the mic, but they still couldn't hear him. They would then hang up and try again. This went on for a couple of calls until he answered the phone in the manner appropriate for the office.
84. Crayons For The Mature Adult
I'm a server at Denny's. Today I had a grown woman come in with her two little kids and ask for a booth. I cleaned one and sat her down. She then looks at me points at a booth across the restaurant and says she wants that one instead. Okay, whatever. I move her. I sit her down and seat someone at the booth she was in originally.
Not 2 minutes later she comes up to me and asks for the other booth back because "I was there first and it's nicer." Yeah, I know lady: that's why I sat you there.
I tell her I can't make other customers move and she can keep the one she's in now or wait until a new one opens. She then says, "No, I want that one. I was there first they have to move." I told her, " I'm sorry I can't do that."
She asks for the manager. I get him and explain the situation. He then tells her exactly what I said. She sits down crosses her arm and pouts like a child.
I proceeded to walk to her table with a huge smile on my face and hand her 3 children's menus. I looked her dead in the eyes and asked what color crayon she wanted. She goes, "I'm an adult!" I gave her green and walked away.
She walked out, but the satisfaction of not getting in trouble or having to serve her was worth it.
83. Petty Voicemails
Last year some stupid for-profit education company kept leaving me messages for some person I'd never heard of. My outbound message is literally just, "You've reached John Doe, please leave a message." And they'd start in with, "This message is for Jessie Harrison" or whatever name it was.
I had blocked the number from ringing long ago, but I was starting to get sick of them leaving my voicemails too. I could have unblocked the number, but it seemed like a lot more fun to just change my voicemail message just for them (a pretty handy feature of Google Voice).
I recorded a 3-minute message (the maximum) where I repeated my name many times and implored them to actually freaking listen before they leave a voicemail. They called once more after I set that message... and never again. I guess they took the hint that I was just going to keep wasting their time or something.
82. And That's Why You Lock The Door
I was at a restaurant for lunch and I got "the urges."
I dash off to the bathroom and it turns out to be tucked away and single stalled. I get in quickly, notice the sign that reads "please lock the door while in the restroom."
Weird. Why wouldn't anyone lock the door? But anyway, I lock it but the moment I sit down someone starts knocking.
I say, "There's someone in here." But then the door starts shaking like I'm in a horror movie. I'm literally sitting on the toilet trying to do my business. The knocking and shaking don't stop. Then whoever is on the other side starts KICKING the door OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again.
Many people have told me stories about getting assaulted and attacked in restrooms, so I'm panicking while sitting on the toilet. Is this just a ploy to get me to open the door? What was I going to do? Open to the door to a violent crazy person?
Then I thought to look at the situation in a funnier light. I'm standing on the side of the locked door. They can't hurt me. If they break the door, the restaurant will make them pay.
I take a few deep breaths (albeit in a nasty bathroom) but I kind of just brush my hair and wash my hands really clean for another five minutes. The door is being kicked to no end and the knocking doesn't stop.
I get a text from my friend asking if I'm okay. I text my friend to see if she can take a peek at what's going on.
And she tells me it's JUST A LITTLE GIRL. And it's the same kid who screamed at her father in the restaurant earlier. I had noticed she was the kid that screamed at her father, "I WANT TO ORDER SOMETHING NOW!"
See I would never do this to a child. But I -- as a child -- also would never kick and scream on a stranger's door, let alone the public bathroom door when it's only been less than a minute. It's infinitely rude.
I finally open the door and I see that she went to the server. And I catch the server saying, "Oh, look you can use it now."
When I get out, I glare at the mom who just looks at me with a deer in the headlights look.
81. "I'll Just Be A Few Minutes..."
So years ago I delivered jugs of water to homes and offices. My work truck was fairly big probably about 35ish feet long. I had a building I delivered to that had 8-10 stops in it and was one of the few places that had a loading bay for delivery vehicles.
This bay was wide enough for 2 large trucks side by side and long enough for my truck to mostly fit with a bit of the cab sticking out in the alleyway (not so far as to block traffic).
On the other side of the alley was another building, and the dumpsters for said building. These dumpsters were in a position that it could be a little tight to get into the dock but it was doable.
This day I pull up and see a small courier car (size of a Honda civic) pull into the bay and stop right at the entrance. This position is just enough that I cant get the angle I need to be able to nose up to the dumpsters and back into the open spot in the loading bay. If I tried I'd likely hit the car.
Luckily for me, the driver was just getting out of the car. So I politely asked if she could back up a couple of feet so I could get into the dock.
Her: I'm only going to be a few minutes...
Me: Yes but if you take 5 seconds, we can both do what we need to do...
Her: I'll be a few minutes...
Then she just walks into the building.
So I'm kinda stunned at this point. I've been in the delivery industry for almost a decade most other drivers get that it's a tough job and we can all do what we need to do and there's kinda an unwritten code even amongst competitors.
So I maneuver my truck nice and tight to the building so as not to block the alleyway while parking perpendicular to the loading dock entrance and blocking her car in.
I start loading the first of 2 or 3 cartloads into the building. She comes out and sees my truck...
Her: Well isn't this cute... You need to move...
Me: I'll only be a few minutes.
Her: I need to go. Move your truck now...
By this time my cart is loaded and I tell her, "It's okay, I'll only be a few minutes." And I walk into the building.
80. Interrupting The Game
I have large trees in my yard. My neighbor next door blows all the leaves into my yard with his lawnmower. He says they’re my leaves from my tree. In doing so, he also leaves all of his grass clippings mixed in with the leaves. I blew them back; he called the cops. This happened several times.
His TV cable is buried in my yard. It runs from a pole underground through ten feet of my yard. During the local football game, I took a shovel and jumped on it. He lost TV and Wi-fi for two days. The cable company ran a new line. It messed up my yard a bit, but I know where it is. Just in case.
79. More Pain Than Intended
My mother had really bad asthma and allergies and made us kids rake up the leaves. This was not an easy task. They would get several feet deep if we didn't do it often enough. One day we raked the whole yard into these giant piles for the city to come to pick up. This took several hours.
The next morning, they were scattered all over. We raked them again over several more hours and it happened again. Apparently, the neighborhood bully was knocking them over just to be a jerk.
The next time, we made a super huge pile around the fire hydrant hoping he'd kick them and hurt his foot. Nope, this time he decided to do a run and jump. I watched it peeking through the blinds. He ended up breaking several bones.
I didn't even feel bad.
78. Invincible Mailbox
When I was a kid, our mailbox got taken out like once a month. Finally, after the 10th mailbox and post, my dad was fed up. So he got an eight-foot I-beam and buried it four feet down and filled in the hole with Quickrete.
The next time it got hit, the jerk wrapped his car around it. Like the mailbox/pole was sticking out of the middle of his car.
After that, I don't think the mailbox was ever hit again.
77. "Broken" TV
My brother-in-law did something to irritate my wife back when they were in high school.
My wife turned off the TV, wrote "broken" on a piece of paper taped to the TV, shut off the power strip, and flipped the batteries around in the remote. It took my brother-in-law several days to figure it out.
76. It's Mine, Apparently
I went to a restaurant for brunch. Upon receiving my bill I noticed a $3 charge for table linen. As I was leaving I folded up the tablecloth. The waiter said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I paid for it, I’m taking it home." And I did.
75. It Smells Your Fear
A girl in high school did something to annoy me. I can't even remember what it was. She made it well-known to everyone that she was terrified of Furbys. So I brought one to school, found people in all of her classes, and passed it along between them so that it followed her all day. She ended up having a panic attack; I almost felt bad.
74. The Worst Smell!
I know a girl that broke up with her idiot boyfriend and moved out. But before she left she hid potatoes all over his house where he couldn’t find them, so that when they rot months and months later he will never get rid of the smell.
73. Charitable Vengeance
I’m a hairstylist and I got fired from a salon job over some nepotistic hogwash. Luckily, I had about 60 free haircut cards lying around my apartment. So I donated them all to a charity that helps recent parolees get back on their feet.
On one hand, it’s nice to help people. On the other, it’s also nice to know that they’ll probably use the free haircut card, never come back, and not tip the stylists.
72. Pettiness, Delivered
My neighbor flipped out on me because my dog was sniffing her lawn and yelled, "Get your dog off my lawn! Don't let him poop on my lawn!" It really got to me so I ordered 500 boxes from USPS to her house every two weeks for a few months (you can order up to 500 of any size for free).
I also mixed five bullion cubes for chicken broth (usually you use like two or three for a large pot of soup) into a water bottle with a hole in the cap and I'd just spray it all over the last foot or so of her lawn the whole length every day for a few weeks so that every dog, cat, and stray/wild animal would go sniff her lawn every time they passed by it.
71. Obedience Or Consequence
My girl told me that the neighbor across the street was instructing his dog to go poop on our lawn. At first, I doubted he was telling his dog to do that, but I was homesick for a few days and saw it myself. I asked the owner to stop it and he said the dog wouldn’t listen. When I asked him to at least clean up the poop, he said his dog was only peeing.
We had our own dog and I took a week's worth of his land mines plus the neighbor's dog's poops for the week and walked across the street and threw them all over his front yard and walkway one night.
Somehow the neighbor's dog listened after that and never pooped in my yard again.
70. Return To Sender
When I was about 14, I was walking down a road with my friend. Some older teenagers in a car pulled up next to us, threw an egg right at me, and then sped off. Somehow, the egg hit me in the shoulder and then landed on the ground without exploding. It was still intact.
The kids did a U-turn and came around to inspect the damage. My friend picked up the egg and threw it right back at their car. Their window was down, and my friend hit them right at the base of the driver's side window, creating a perfect airburst. The egg exploded everywhere.
69. Dosing Out His Own Medicine
My neighbor watches TV at night loudly. I've asked nicely for him to lower it (I'm a nursing student, so I need what little sleep I get). Long story short, he wouldn't lower it, and my apartment complex says it's not loud enough to be considered a disturbance.
I now play heavy metal music during the day and put the speaker right by the neighbor's wall, so he's not able to sleep during the day. The music is a disturbance, but it's not loud enough for the complex to consider it a disturbance, so they can't do anything about it.
68. Free Food For Vengeance' Sake
I worked in a restaurant with a jerk in the early days of touchscreen point-of-sale systems. Whenever he forgot to log out, I would enter duplicate orders for his tables under his account. Management thought he was a complete idiot and eventually he was even questioning himself. Meanwhile, the rest of the staff got free food.
67. Not A Good Fit
My grandma, when she was a teenager, was sent to an all-girls school with dorms, uniforms, and the whole shebang. Well, my grandma isn't an all-girls school type of lady and would sneak out at night by leaving a window cracked open with a shoe. One of the girls at the school did not like my grandma and one night took her shoe out of the window, locking it. This makes it so you have to enter through the front, where a nun was stationed 24/7.
To retaliate, my grandma took a massive poop in this girl's bed, then remade it. Yeah, my grandma didn't last too long at that school.
66. Early Wakeup Call
I work as a hotel housekeeper. I was abused by an obnoxious special snowflake guest. During her room service, I set her bedside alarm clock to go off, full volume, at 2 a.m.
65. Psycho Coworker
In my old department, there was this dispatcher who probably shouldn't be a dispatcher. We'll call him G.
One day, G needed to stay home for the gas and electric people to do some work on his home. Instead of taking a whole day off, he made the mistake of telling our boss that he'll be at work no later than noon, but he could be there sooner if it's really busy. G said he'd call to see how we were doing to see if he needed to come in early. I was left to dispatch for that day.
I came in at 6 a.m. Starting at 7 a.m., he called numerous times. By the time it reached 9, G must have called at least 20 times. Each time he said the same exact thing: "Is it busy? How does it look? Do I need to come in?" By the 20th call, I got fed up and told him that it's really busy and we could use the help if he's able to show up. He hesitated because he had no one to watch the house, but eventually agreed and said he'll be at work in a few minutes.
When he came in, I let him know about the workload. He realized that it wasn't that busy and asked why I did that. My response? "Because you called me more than a psycho ex. I had to stop you somehow." Our boss wouldn't let him leave and thought the whole thing was hilarious especially since G knows better than to do things like that to me.
64. South And More South
I was working at a call center. My coworker, who has a very rich southern accent, gets a call in. The woman on the other line detects her accent and gives her a hard time. She then requests someone "intelligent" with "better English". My coworker tells the woman her English is fine and she can assist her. The lady says something to the effect of, "Just transfer me to someone else, tramp." My coworker then sends her to the SPANISH line. I just about died from the laughter.
63. Caught Red-Tongued
Someone kept stealing snacks from my little sister's lunch that was in her locker in elementary school. They even left the wrappers there. My sister had a suspect in mind but her teacher did not want to act on it. So we decided to prepare some Lindt chocolates: We scooped the middle part and put some Sriracha in them. The next day, the kid did indeed fall into our trap and came back from her ''bathroom trip'' with a red face and tearing eyes. She stopped stealing from my sister's locker after that.
62. Cheaters Get Cheated
When I found out my then-husband was sleeping with a coworker for over two years, he was in Denmark on business. I took every penny out of our joint account and opened a new account at a different bank. When he called to ask why his debit card didn't work, I acted puzzled. This went on for days until he called the bank. In the meantime, I'd gotten an attorney and filed for divorce, and changed all the locks. I also took his phone and threw it into the Mississippi River.
61. Restaurant Playground
This was about 15 years ago, in college, while I was a host at a crummy Mexican restaurant.
It’s a normal, busy Saturday night, and this guy walks in, right past me. He circles through the whole restaurant came back and pointed to the table he wanted to sit at. I did exactly as he asks.
I knew what he was doing. He did not want to sit by any kids. Now, what happened next was completely avoidable, but he had angered me by acting like a smug jerk.
I proceeded to surround him with every party including kids. Loud kids, messy kids, small kids, birthday parties, I’ve got the perfect seat for you!
I could see that he was ready to erupt, but it was too dang funny. He came up and yelled at me in front of the entire restaurant for the slights. I played dumb and then went in the back and laughed my butt off with everyone else.
60. The Gift Of Pettiness
I gave my jerk sister-in-law a beautifully wrapped (like, tight wrapping paper with so much perfectly curled ribbon) copy of Toxic In-Laws at her bridal shower. I obviously did not attend the said shower, so she likely opened the gift in front of the crowd, for maximum embarrassment.
Yes, yes, it made me look ridiculous, no doubt, but I know the irony probably shook her good, which was my goal.
59. Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated
One of my biggest pet peeves is when somebody buys something, but instead of handing me the money, they plop it down on the counter.
So one guy came up and was being... undesirable. Grown man. When it comes time to pay, he grabs a wad of crumpled cash and throws it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it for a few moments and eventually, the guy says something along the lines of, "The money's right there, you can count it!"
So being the petty little guy I am, I pick it up, thumb through it incredibly slowly (about 30-45 seconds without exaggeration), and this guy is giving me the ANGRIEST look. I open the register to grab his change and I go to set it on the counter. He tries to dip his hand beneath mine to grab it so I slide my hand to the side and drop it on the counter. I slide the item he bought across the counter, look up, smile and say, "have a very nice day sir."
He storms off and I ask if he'd like his receipt. When he comes back and tries to snatch it out of my hand, he instead rips it in half and it took all of my energy not to bust out into tears. I will go to any lengths to anger people if they treat me like I'm subhuman.
58. Revenge Clap
I think one of the most satisfactory ones for me was when I got back at my bullies. I got into fights because I'd physically defend friends weaker, smaller, and younger than me. Eventually, the bullies had had enough. The main girl literally recruited two years’ worth of bullies. My friends sat at our usual table. The hall was weirdly empty, then came in ALL the bullies and sat at two (eight-person each) tables.
Three of them came up to me. They started insulting us. One grabbed my fork and started eating my pasta. She then picked up my cardboard juice box, stuck the straw in it, and started drinking. I clapped my hands together and all the juice flooded into her mouth where she was forced to splutter it all down herself. The rest of the bullies found this hilarious, and, not having a nice fun fight to get involved in, left.
The main bully with the juice all over her started yelling at me. I said, "Oh yeah? You and what army?" She panicked and fled. I ate my pasta and one of my friends shared their drink with me.
57. Drying Up After Him
My roommate in college used to get out of the shower dripping wet and leave water all over the bathroom floor. I asked him several times to dry himself off in the shower but he refused. Rather than get angry about it, I just started drying off the bathroom floor every morning with his bath towel.
56. Concrete Pumpkin
I have a friend whose pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. It happened every year. So my friend decided to put a stop to it.
He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete. He filled that puppy up and made a really pretty display.
The jerk broke the axle of his bad car when he hit that pumpkin. He could not drive away. My friend had his car towed.
55. Long-Term And Expensive
Back in 2001, I was cheated on by a guy I dated for a few years. After we broke up, I went to Walmart's book aisle. I grabbed about 40 subscription postcards out of the magazines and filled them all out with his name and address. I marked the 'bill me later option' and mailed them slowly over a few weeks.
Five years later, we hung out via mutual friends, and in the garage, there were so many magazines that the two-car garage was a one-car garage. Three years after this, we were talking and he mentioned how his credit was screwed up because he didn't pay for some magazine subscriptions and they turned him into the collection agency.
54. Burning In The Bathroom
Several coworkers and I noticed that our lunches and drinks would constantly go missing, even when clearly marked. One of my coworkers was a diabetic and it ended up causing him to have a hypoglycaemic incident due to having his food taken.
So after that, things got serious. He brought in a lunch that was laced with laxatives and a Carolina reaper extract oil. The previous diabetic incident was well documented and HR at this point was now aware of the food bandit. Luckily, that day, he hit the jackpot.
Turns out it was someone from HR who was taking people’s food. We heard a blood-curdling scream when the guy took his first bite and he was caught red-handed. It only got better from there. He stayed in the office the remainder of the day as things were sorted out. However, he ended up in the bathroom suffering even more. So not only did he get his mouth burned, he was pooping his brains out at the same time.
53. Micro-Managed Alarms
I was at my mom’s for Christmas Eve one year with my husband. I was pregnant and she had been getting on my nerves because she micromanages the holidays and my siblings and I just wanted to relax. She also had a brand-new iPhone and I knew her password.
So I set her alarm to come on every hour on the hour starting at midnight and stopping at 7 a.m. I also changed the alarm tone every hour. One was a dog barking, which set off her two Shih Tzu-poodle mix dogs for almost 45 minutes before the next alarm went off 15 minutes later.
It was the best feeling in the world to hand over her phone after setting up those alarms, knowing what was going to happen. It’s one of my most cherished memories.
52. Hiding Rolls
My little sister NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. Like totally empty, roll under the counter, doesn't bother to change it. So I collected the empty rolls for about four months, and the next time she did it I took all of them, pulled up her sheets, and hid them all under the form-fitting sheet on the bed.
It took her a long time to find all of them.
51. Don't Touch My Peanut Butter
My roommate kept on grabbing my peanut butter without asking, so I bought a bottle of laxative and made sure all of it went into the jar. I locked the bathroom door when I left in the morning. He pooped on himself and all over his bed -- it was so bad he had to buy a new one.
50. Collective Coffee Revenge
I worked at a coffee shop in high school and this businessman came in every morning. He was always extremely rude and treated all the baristas like we were garbage. This guy truly talked to us like we were worthless servants. Buddy would order a quad shot Americano, so we collectively started pouring him only decaf. He would sometimes come in on his lunch break and would muse out loud about how coffee just didn't get him going like it used to.
49. Sweet And Sticky
My ex cheated.
There was a dollar store near her work that I liked. So I went in and spent a dollar on a giant bag of gummy bears. I opened them and ate one. It was sweet! I had another! So good! These were my favorite gummy bears by far! I felt bad for wasting them by throwing them on her windshield on a hot day... but it was totally worth it.
48. Bed Time, Not Game Time
When my husband and I got our first apartment together, we lived with someone who didn't have much going on schedule-wise and would stay up until 3 or 4 a.m. playing video games online with friends and shouting. We asked him to be quieter after midnight because both my husband and I had early mornings, but he would always do that thing where he was quiet for about 10 minutes and then got even louder than before.
So my husband started unplugging/replugging the internet box after midnight and then when he knocked on our door and asked if we knew why the internet was out, we'd play dumb and promise to call Comcast in the morning.
47. Crushed Tacos
I was working at a taco place in the drive-thru, and this one customer was being so rude.
He ordered some things, I repeated back his order, and he said I was completely wrong and wasn’t listening. Then he kept yelling at me through the speaker. When he got to the window, he didn’t even look at me when he handed over his money.
Of course, I was angry. One of the things he ordered was ten crunchy tacos with mild sauce. Before I gave him his tacos, I "checked" his ten tacos and crushed seven of them. Then I threw in twelve packets of Diablo sauce and only two packets of mild sauce.
46. Your Music, Then My Music
My neighbors had a party with karaoke (pretty bad karaoke) that lasted until about 4 a.m., blasting the speakers with Rancheritas, Corridos and bad oldies Spanish pop.
I decided to wash my car with speakers blasting Cannibal Corpse at 6 a.m. when they had just gone to sleep.
The next time they had a party, they came over beforehand and said it was going to be over by midnight. It was.
45. Tiny Book Ruiner
Whenever I fought with or got mad at my parents when I was very young (five to seven years old), instead of giving them attitude, I’d just bite my tongue... then later sneak into their bedroom and rip out the following five to ten pages of whatever book they were reading at the time. I was a tiny little passive-aggressive psycho.
44. A Deserved Loss
My former roommate/best friend out of the blue started spreading completely fabricated rumors about me. When I heard about them, I didn’t confront her or call her out.
Instead, I blocked her in every way, took all my stuff out of our shared storage unit and never reminded her about paying her half. Months later, she showed up on my doorstep to tell me that they had repoed everything in the unit.
She had every childhood photo, family heirlooms, expensive furniture, and a small jewelry collection in there.
Got what she deserved as far as I’m concerned.
43. Catpocalypse
A neighbor tried to hit my cat when she was chilling on his lawn. I got so annoyed, I ordered a ton of catnip seeds from Amazon and threw it all over his lawn. The cat situation got so bad for him that he had to move out.
42. Snow-Shoveled In
When I lived in this apartment complex, there was a huge blizzard one winter. The apartment complex had a parking lot. I was parked in the space right in front of my apartment. It took me three hours to shovel out my car and the space, toting the snow to the grassy areas instead of just throwing it into the lot or other spaces. It was brutal.
I leave for work that night, and the jerk neighbor, who was parked in the space next to mine... brushed off his car a little, pulled out of his space without shoveling and parked in the space I had just shoveled.
I WAS PEEVED.
So I spent another two or so hours shoveling out the space he had been parked in... directly onto his car.
41. A Card Not Stolen
I worked at a small stationery store in the early 90s. I had a customer who was the rudest I've ever met. He paid with his credit card, so I copied his card details to a post-it note. Later that day, I called his credit card company, claiming to be the guy and reporting the card as stolen so they would stop it.
I figured the next clerk he belittled in a store would have his best day ever.
40. Pepper-ade
I don't remember what my older sister did, but I had to pay it back, with interest. So the eight-year-old old me makes a jar of lemonade (both of us loved it), threw in a lot of pepper sauce, stirred it until it was at the right color again, closed almost every water valve of the house, hid every water bottle, then offered her some. I watched her drain the cup quickly, then her eyes widened and she went crazy searching for water. She finally got some in our gramma's shower on the opposite side of the house.
39. Splash Back
I was on a transatlantic flight and was sitting on the first row of the plane. The woman next to me had a baby in a crib and a small child. She sat on the opposite end of the row from me and sat her toddler right next to me leaving an empty seat between her and her kid; I had no issue with any of it until food arrived and the child started moving around a lot and kicking my computer and was making it impossible for me to eat; I asked her politely to do something about this and her reply was that it is known that those seats are for people with children. I was so angry I couldn’t eat. I took my tiny wine bottle to the bathroom and filled it up with water. Then I waited. When she took the kid to the toilet I proceeded to pour the water on the seat next to me. They came back and after 10 minutes the kid said to the mother that he was wet. She sat the child in the other seat and put a towel on the wet seat and sat there. Didn’t say a word to me. I think I slept the rest of the flight.
38. No Credit For You
I worked on a TV show where I was one of several people overseeing the end credits. I had hooked up with a crew member after telling him I liked him and was interested in dating him. He enthusiastically agreed, slept with me, and THEN informed me (a week later) he wasn't interested in dating. I was heartbroken but also ... mad. When the credits made their way to me, noticed they were missing a letter from his last name. I didn't point it out, and they were published incorrectly. No regrets.
37. Checkmate!
In high school, I once had a friend who, whenever I would buy a Pepsi would come up and take it from the table and take a drink without asking. He did this almost every week until I had enough and I wanted revenge. I had a friend who chewed chewing tobacco and he would spit into a water bottle. Out in his truck, he’d always have a water bottle filled with his brown spit and chewed up cancer leaves. I asked him if I could have it and with an odd look, he obliged. I went with the bottle of tobacco spit and bought a Pepsi. Went to the bathroom and poured out only half of the Pepsi so the can would still be cold. I poured the saliva inside the Pepsi can and went to our before-class social hour. I put the can on the table and said “don’t even think about touching my drink. I’m going to the bathroom be right back” well he did what he did every week. I come back only the room and there is throw up all over the floor and he’s gagging. I start hysterically laughing and he immediately gets so angry. He threw several bibles at me in a fit of rage while I couldn’t for the life of me stop laughing. To this day he thinks it was ketchup in the Pepsi.
36. Spicy Breakup
My then-boyfriend took me out to dinner at Nando’s. Before we’d even ordered, he told me that when he was at a party the previous week, he’d slept with someone else. We were going to see a show after and I was NOT going to go. So he gave me some money and asked me to get him what he had last time. I went to the till and ordered. I got asked the question “and what level of spice would he like?”
He hates spicy food so I ordered extra hot. When dinner arrived he proceeded to tell me that I was immature. I was the immature one?! Ok boy bye!
35. A Fishy Goodbye
Not me but my best friend. She worked at the busiest big-box membership warehouse in the area for about 20 years. Everything about that store was total chaos, the parking situation, the busloads of international tourists that were constantly in there buying up all of the vitamins, and the super-rich entitled a-holes for whom no rules applied, and that doesn’t even cover her coworkers. The TV in the break room was always at a top volume which caused everyone who was in there to talk over the TV so there was never a moment’s peace when she would take breaks.
She finally couldn’t take it anymore and applied for a position at another store that was less busy and closer to her house. On her last day at the madhouse, she went into the break room right before she left. No one was on a break then so she unplugged the cable connection on the back of the TV and put a piece of fish in the microwave and set it for 10 minutes. Then she clocked out and left and laughed her butt off on the way home. It wasn’t fantasy-level revenge, but it was enough to satisfy her and that’s all that matters.
34. Microgaming
Back in my junior year in college, my roommate was an idiot. We shared a standard-size dorm room, and he would stay up till 4 am screaming and shouting at the TV (my TV) while playing Modern Warfare 2. I dealt with it throughout the year, but during finals week, I finally snapped and planned my revenge.
He was leaving first and had all his gear packed, but went to have lunch with his parents, who were there helping him move out. That gave me an hour to unpack his precious Xbox 360, with the MW2 disk still inside, and put it into my microwave and run it for about 10 seconds on high. Just enough time to fry the disk and hopefully damage the internals. I then repacked it and bid him a fond farewell when he came back to finish gathering everything. Haven't spoken to him since.
33. Nobody Is Fine Here
I had some pretty monstrous roommates - destroyed my property, stole, didn't pay bills, even threatened me with violence. I overheard them loudly arguing one night because their car registration got revoked for non-payment of insurance.
The next time they parked on the street, I called the police and claimed to be a resident complaining that they parked on my property. They came to check and of course ran the plates. I was very pleased to hear all about how their car was towed away and it cost them some $2000 to get it back after all the fees.
32. This Shampoo Isn't Working
My ex-bf was a real bad guy. Manipulative, narcissistic and really good at gaslighting. When I broke up with him finally he threatened to take my car and report me to my child's school for having her enrolled but not living in the town (even though my child's father lived in said town she went to school at...which my ex knew). Anyway, I was so pissed off over being threatened that while I took a shower I relieved myself in his shampoo...multiple times over the course of two weeks. It was in a clear bottle and I was surprised he didn't notice the yellow tinge to it. When he finally moved out of the apartment (he refused to leave at first because I think he wanted to see how difficult he could make my life...he suddenly needed to move out though after he found out I was dating my husband) he still had the shampoo and you could clearly tell there was something wrong with it because there was nasty stuff clumped at the bottom of it.. Was what I did childish? Yes it was and, I do regret stooping so low...but oh did it feel so good at the time.
31. My Friends Suck
I had a "friend" named Jimi who I played music with. I had to go out of state for several weeks for work and during that time my only roommate moved out with the help of Jimi (I owned the house by the way). Jimi, knowing that nobody was there for another week or so decided to let himself in through the dog door and rummage through everything in my room. Thank god for my nest cam. He was in my room for about 10 minutes going through every drawer. Left and came back a few minutes later to do a final sweep. The last image on the camera was him noticing the camera and a literal jaw drop before he unplugged it.
As revenge, I took the video, posted it to Facebook and tagged all of our mutual friends. I got a call 5 minutes later with the most frantic apology and him begging me to take down the post. I no longer talk to Jimi.
30. I Will Be Wiping Away My Tears....You Won't
When my wife and I were selling our house, I had a huge work table in the garage. I told the real estate agents that of course it would be gone by closing. There was another workbench up against one wall that was permanently mounted. The buyers freaked out about it, saying that I had agreed to remove it, and threatened to back out of the sale. Then they offered to remove it themselves if we paid them. We were busy moving and buying a house; I didn't have time to deal with it, so we paid.
As I was doing my final walk-through to make sure we had moved everything out, I went through all the bathrooms and took every roll of toilet paper with me when I left.
29. Don't Eat The Yellow Pizza
I lived in an apartment with a roommate. We had neighbors who would throw crazy parties pretty frequently, oftentimes during the week. One day, my roommate who had to be awake early got fed up and decided to pee on a metal pizza pan and stick it in the freezer. After a crazy party, he pulled the pan out, and flipped it upside down, giving him a frozen disc of pee. He then slid that disc under their door where it would melt on their fully carpeted entryway. We woke up to them shouting at the people who crashed there, demanding to know who peed on the floor and what the heck was wrong with them.
28. Sign Your Work
My ex cheated on me while I was deployed. She wound up getting engaged to the guy. Before I changed duty stations, she reached out to say goodbye. We hooked up. While she was asleep, I found his underwear drawer and left a note that said, "Cheaters cheat. By the way, I didn't use protection." I signed it. Hard not to think fondly on that memory...
27. "I Don't Need This Job, I'm Rich!"
I work for a construction company and we do drywalling. We have a rule here that we get to keep anything we find hidden behind the walls in the buildings we're working on. (Sometimes you'll find a pack of smokes left by another crew, a pack of gum etc.)
We hired this guy who was a total a-hole from day one. I've been working for this company for 5 years and this guy has only been doing construction for 1 year after he got fired from his accounting job. He would always make fun of my clothes and my accent.
One day he went too far by telling my boss about my private Instagram account pics. He got on my phone and looked through my Instagram page and showed my boss pictures of me smoking up. (Little did he know that my boss is my friend from way back when we used to smoke together before we both quit.)
I was so mad that he violated my privacy so I made a plan to screw him over.
He was the kind of guy who would always come in late and complain that trains or traffic are why he was late. One day I overheard him saying that if he won the lottery he would quit this job for not getting the "respect" he deserves. (You have to earn your respect here.)
So I bought some fake gold coins online and I put them in a metal box I found at the antique store and waited for a chance to hide it in a half-finished wall. Luckily I did not have to wait long.
The day he found the coins it seemed like it was his best day ever. First thing he did when he opened the box...he called my boss a "[bleeping] loser" and he quit immediately on the spot. He said "[bleep] this place. I'm rich."
Little did he know that was the best day of my life. After he quit my boss told us that he was going to fire him anyways for always showing up late. I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he found out the gold coins were fake. Best $40 I spent in my life.
26. Won't Pay My Salary? I'll Put You Out Of Business
I killed an entire tow company with one phone call.
Several years back I went to work for a towing company. The pay was pretty decent, but we had to share trucks and the boss felt that he knew where we needed to sit in order to get the best calls. This is important for later.
Several months in, I realized that I was not making the type of money that I should be making. So I took the opportunity while I was sitting in a parking lot one evening to start researching the laws pertaining to employees in similar positions. My boss was kind of a jerk and the trucks had transponders so that he could see if we had them idling with the air conditioner on on a hot day, or idling with the heat on on a cold day. He was always calling complaining about something if the wheels were not turning.
During my research I discovered that if he was requiring us to sit in a certain parking lot, street, or any location of his choosing , then we were entitled to be paid an hourly wage not just our commission. The technical term was “engaged to wait” however if he allowed us to freely roam about while we waited for calls we were not entitled to hourly wages and we were therefore considered “waiting to be engaged.” I never mentioned this to him, but I did start taking note of my time.
Another month or so goes by and he decided to start coming down on me for things that ordinarily wouldn’t even matter, such as I forgot a pop can in the cupholder. He actually had a screaming fit about that. At this point I was tired of working there and had already found another job so I decided it was time to put my plan into motion.
I called him up, told him that we needed to have a conversation about my final wages and that we could meet at his convenience. Upon entering the office I laid out my argument, explained the state law, and told him I expected to be paid for the hours that I was on the clock but not freely allowed to roam looking for work or able to do things of my choosing. He told me in no uncertain terms that I would not be paid for that time, as that was agreed to upon my employment. I did not bother to argue, as I already had my next step planned, so I took my final check and I left.
The following Monday, I made a phone call to the state labor board, where I laid out my case to them. Needless to say, they were very interested in what was going on.
In the end, they came to review his employment records and spoke to the drivers still working. When he got the bill of what he had to pay us all, it was too much for him to afford, so he sold the trucks, his boat, his lot and went out of business.
I never got the money owed to me in full, only a fraction. But the satisfaction of knowing the law just a little bit better than he did and watching it all burn was pure bliss.
25. Steal From A Sick Man? I'll Cut You Out Of The Will
Shortly after my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, my formally estranged half brother quit his job and moved in to help take care of my dad. Though there really wasn’t enough money, it was agreed to pay him around $300 a week to make up for his missing income.
During this time, my half brother abruptly acquired durable power of attorney and usurped medical and financial (my mother and father had separate financial lives) decisions.
Several documents relating to my dad's pension (which were now my half brother's responsibility) were not turned in on time resulting in my dad missing out on a one-time payout of $8,000 and lowering his pension payout by $300/mo.
My half brother then cleaned out my dad's remaining savings (about $3,000, not discovered until about a month later). 6 days later, our father took his one life.
My dad left all of his insurance money, and belongings to my mother. Us children were left with only sentimental items. My half brother was visibly upset and shaking when the will was read. He acknowledged that my mother was receiving “everything” and left.
About a month later we discovered the missing money. Though he broke no laws because he had power of attorney, we insisted he pay it back, even offered to let him make payments over a two year period. He refused and we have been no contact for two years now.
Little did he know that he was in my mom’s (his stepmother’s) will. He would receive half of what is currently a $250,000 estate. I suggested to my mother that she remove him from the will. She did and I am now the sole beneficiary.
He stole $3,000 now only to lose out on $125,000 later.
24. Prank A Wedding? Grandpa Will Prank You Back Like A Pro
My grandpa was a quiet guy. He loved his family more than anything. And he was very, very observant.
My parents' wedding reception was in full swing. Everyone is drinking and dancing and having a great time. One of my dad’s friends stupidly decides to play a prank. He gets two more of dad’s buddies to help. Grandpa notices them sneaking out and watches.
Now mom had an awesome car. It was a blue Camaro with a landau top, and was either a 69, 70, or 71. Mom doesn’t remember. This friend of dad’s also had a Camaro of the same year.
Anyway, the trio go out to mom’s car, pop the hood, and take a part. I think it was spark plugs, but whatever they took, it meant the car wouldn’t start, leaving my parents kinda stranded.
Grandpa saw this, waited till the guys went back in, then took the same part from the guy’s car, and put it in mom’s. He then took the guy’s tools and flashlight, and hid them in the coat closet.
Soon it’s real dark, so the newlyweds leave for their hotel room. Prank guy and his friends are even more hammered, and discover their car won’t start. They pop the hood and see the missing part, and start looking for the tools and flashlight.
Grandpa walks over and says, “Your tools and light are in the coat closet, I hope your car is comfy, because the building won’t be unlocked until morning.”
Of course Grandpa tells Grandma, they laugh, and Grandma tells mom and dad. My Grandpa was the best.
23. Falsely Accuse Me Of Harassment? Lose Everything
Here we go. So I was working at HQ for a large and well known company, cubicle sorta gig. I had been there 3 years and the woman in question had been there about 12. She's known to have a bit of an attitude and was pretty much next in line to fill a very high position under the CEO. She's always not liked many of the office workers (pretty much all the men, and one woman she would constantly make cry).
One day I ended up brushing past her in a hurry to hand something off to my supervisor which he needed ASAP, both of my hands quite obviously occupied holding something at chest level. She ended up filing a harassment claim saying I grabbed her butt. (After 2 weeks of unpleasantness I ended up getting my supervisor to pull cam footage, which saved my bacon as they were pretty much about to fire me.)
Well I'm friends with a guy she likes to talk to, even though he doesn't much like her. I ended up giving him my recorder pen a few weeks later and got him to try and egg her into talking about trying to get me fired. He managed to get her to admit to that and 3 other instances where she did get men fired for false harassment claims.
I ended up getting the recording back, made a few copies and ended up handing them off to HR, each of the 3 other men in question via email, my boss, and his boss, her husband (anonymously), and everybody on the board. I basically forced the company into a situation where their "star player" couldn't stay, because A) 2 of the 3 men are currently looking to sue, B) I was getting ready to as well, and C) it was completely indisputable.
I lost her her job, and career, any chance at using the place as a reference, and probably damaged her marriage. She's not getting a severance, or any of her PTO paid to her.
22. Steal From The Company? Your Subordinates Will End You
I worked in an office for a large supermarket. We had a team leader who was a jerk (he'll be known as 'jerk' from here on). Never in the wrong, always had the what I say goes attitude. Useless. One day he got promoted to the team leader of the team above us. They were involved in the data side of things so we thought we had seen the last of him, but he generally screwed with his old team he was universally despised.
One day we had an issue with pricing in our stores. Meat was going through the till at twice the normal price. In our stores, we have a policy if we overcharge you, you get double the overcharge back.
Jerk manager, knowing this, went shopping after work. He put every meat he could think of in his shopping cart. Once he got to the checkout he acted as if he was a genuine customer. Now the jerk had always been so self-important he failed to realize the girl behind the counter used to work in our office.
She saw him with all this meat and spoke to her manager. She basically said to the manager "this guy's pulling a fast one." He agreed.
Manager: I understand you have been overcharged on some meat?
Jerk: Yes and I want the refund on double the difference!
Manager: Did the lady behind the till tell you about the overcharge before the items start scanning?
Jerk: Yes she did, and I was told to come here.
Manager: If you were told before the items were scanned that we had this fault all we can do is give you back what you have been overcharged.
Jerk: This is ridiculous. I know the policy, I manage the store's policy throughout the country!
Manager: Excuse me but how do YOU manage the policy?
Jerk: I work in head office.
Manger: Oh, sorry sir, can I take your staff card?
Jerk: Yeah, here it is.
The manager proceeded to phone head office and it was jerk's old team that picked up the call. The first thing the store manager asked was did we have a manager there by jerk's name and could he speak to jerk's boss. Jerk's boss took the call and said to the manager, "Can you ask jerk to come in to your office? I need to talk to him."
He was fired on the spot and told he would not get a reference from us as if he did get one it would say he was dismissed due to fraud against the company. I heard he was working for Domino's Pizza. Bit of a come down from an $80k a year job!
21. Steal My Detergent? I'm Gonna Put Something Extra In There For You
This happened when I was in college back in 2011. I lived in a 4-story dorm that was all guys, about 40-60 guys per floor. Each floor had one laundry room with 3 washers and 3 dryers plus cubbies to store your laundry bag and soap while you were washing.
A few months into the semester I noticed my laundry detergent was disappearing faster than it should be, not a huge deal but mildly annoying. What made it a bigger deal was that whoever was stealing my detergent would also take my clothes out of the washer and leave them on the floor so they could wash their clothes. This pushed me over the line. I would typically do a load while I went to class so this made finding the perp tricky. Then a golden idea hit me.
I went to Walmart and bought a new jug of laundry detergent, the same brand I always get, but I also bought extra strength bleach. I poured half the detergent from the new bottle into my old bottle and replaced it with the extra strength bleach. That next day I did my laundry as usual but left the new and improved detergent in the cubby instead of my regular stuff, then I waited.
After class sure enough my clothes were sitting in a pile on the floor soaking wet and the whole laundry room smelled of bleach, just what I wanted! Fast forward to the next week, every Monday night we had "Floor meetings" where we basically talked about rules and crap as a floor.
In walks the guy, we'll call him Bob, wearing a newly bleached hoodie and ruined jeans. Bob drops his pile of ruined clothes on the floor and starts spouting off about how "someone owed him money for his ruined clothes." The whole floor bursts out in laughter; apparently I wasn't the only one Bob was stealing soap from. He didn't get another sentence out of his mouth before our RA told him stealing detergent was still a crime so it was his own stupid fault. Enjoy your bleached clothes Bob!
20. Park In My Parking Space? Good Luck Finding Your Car
I live in an apartment building which has end to end parking for two spaces per apartment, and access to the parking levels (1-5) are done via a locked automatic roller door which people can only get through if they have a remote for it (or sneak through behind someone else). I only have a single car, and sometimes I let my friends park in the space in front of my car if they give me notice, so I generally park at the back of the double space (plus it's easier for my neighbors who have two cars).
Earlier this year, a random car began parking in front of mine on Friday afternoons, meaning I couldn't go out with my car on Friday nights, annoying, but not the biggest issue when you live super close to the city. This continued nearly every week over about 5 weeks when I didn't park my car at the front of the bay (which I began doing), but times I planned to leave the space free for friends coming over or whatever, the car appeared again.
I made repeated attempts to stop this behavior by leaving notes.
Well, it happened again, and this time it was still there Saturday afternoon when I had been planning on going away with a group of my buddies.
I figured enough was enough, it was time to have the vehicle towed, so I called building management and eventually calling a towing company, who refused to help because the space was on the third floor, and they can't get any trucks up to that level because of the height and space restrictions.
Fortunately for me however, my parents only live 30 minutes away, and have a garage where I work on one of my cars that's getting at the tail end of a minor restoration. One of the things I use pretty often is a set of Vehicle Positioning Jacks, to jam my project car right up against the wall of the garage to minimize the space it takes up. I decided to go grab them.
None of my friends minded spending an extra hour to screw someone over that had interfered with us, so we grabbed the jacks, and went back, propped the car up, and wheeled it out. Six guys can easily move around a small hatchback, so we pushed across the level slowly and carefully, to an area where there isn't parking, just a load supporting pillar with space enough for a car behind it, in a little section of the garage that isn't lit, and is completely out of the way.
Typically there's a guy on my level that parks a motor bike there, but he isn't meant to, and I doubted he minded. We dumped it between the pillar and the wall, with the nose pointing towards the wall, I took back my angry note, the jacks, and we left to enjoy our weekend.
When we came back Monday afternoon after the long weekend the car was still there, which was no real surprise considering there was only about a foot of space for movement between the pillar and car, and another foot or so between the car and the wall. From the fact the front wheels had changed we're guessing they did try to get it out, unsuccessfully. It eventually went later in the week, though I'm not exactly sure how they managed it.
I never saw that car again.
19. Steal My Lunch? You Get A Visit From The Reaper
About three years ago, I was working in a pretty big factory. They hired through 5 different temp services, so the place was pretty much like a revolving door. People came and left without any warning, sometimes it was hard just to find a familiar face. So when someone started stealing my lunches everyone became a suspect.
After falling victim to the Lunch Box Bandit for a week straight, I'm talking about six 12 hour days with no lunch. Needless to say the frustration spawned several evil plans, but I felt the Carolina Reaper would give me the fastest and most effective results. All I know was people where gonna think twice before stealing lunches.
I spent all night making the best steak fajitas for lunch the next day. I finally minced the reaper peppers into a nice pico de gallo, and topped my devil fajitas off. I carefully placed my fajitas into a Tupperware bowl, garnished them with cilantro and limes, then covered them with a clear lid to display their beauty.
The next morning, about an hour after I placed them in the fridge. A woman started screaming for help. I ran to the lunchroom to find the Lunch Box Bandit laying on the floor gasping for air. The reaper peppers triggered an asthma attack, and he had to be rushed to the hospital.
He never said anything, and neither did I, until now.
18. Wreck My Car? I'll Send You To Prison
This happened shortly after college. My mom is a retired, disabled woman who now owns her house on a quiet residential cul-de-sac. She has lived there longer than anyone else. Her neighborhood has designated parking spaces at the end of the cul-de-sac, all with the addresses of each house painted in the parking space.
My mom doesn't get out much so I use her designated parking space. At the time, we lived in the same city and I visited her weekly to bring groceries, fix broken things, cook for her, etc. My mom parked her car in the backyard of her house, since she went out so little. Mom kept busy by gardening or baking and buying cookies for the children on the street.
Mom's neighbor, Ivy, never parked well. Whenever I stopped by, her car was always parked so close to my car that I had to park on the curb. I wouldn't have cared about Ivy's poor parking but for two things: 1) She had four or five kids and had parties almost every weekend, leaving trash in Mom's yards; 2) I loved my car, a 2016 metallic ice blue Dodge Challenger, the first car I had ever purchased brand new.
Mom had called the police throughout Ivy's residence because of the parties. Ivy's guests would fill up the cul-de-sac with their cars, obstructing traffic, and get into loud fights after midnight. I often found empty bottles, empty rubber wrappers, smoke butts, and baggies on the fence between the properties, mostly on Ivy's side of the fence.
One Saturday while having dinner at Mom's house, I heard a loud crash and my car alarm went off. I ran outside to see Ivy's older model Honda Accord back out of her parking space and speed down the street. Ivy's Accord had a dent from the front bumper to the door and the headlight had popped out. I approached my Challenger with trepidation and screamed in anguish at what I saw.
My car, my beautiful three week old car with less than 500 miles on it, had a dent stretching from the passenger's door to the front bumper and the right front wheel was tilted at a 30 degree angle.
As I called the police, I filed an online claim with my insurance, and arranged for a tow truck to take my damaged car to the dealership. The estimated cost of repairs came out to $3,400 USD. I had a low insurance deductible but my car was parked and Ivy owed for the damages.
For two weeks, I knocked on Ivy's door or waited for her to come home. She stopped driving her damaged Accord and either rented or borrowed a Ford Fusion. When she was home, she didn't answer the door. When she wasn't, she stayed away until my rental car (a Dodge Charger) left Mom's parking space. I left a note on Ivy's door for her to call me, but only received harassing calls from restricted phone numbers or people blaring air horns in my ear when I answered.
So about two weeks after the accident, Ivy's children came to Mom's house for some cookies. I noticed that two of them had bruises around their eyes. If Ivy hadn't hit my car, I still would have done what I did but maybe not as underhandedly. I had Mom take pictures with and of the children but waited until the next party to strike.
Ivy had a party that night or the night after. Mom called me to let me know and I installed an app onto my phone that gave me a fake phone number. I called 911 and reported the party. "There's a loud party at 1007 Mountain Drive, and I'm worried because the children are around all these sloppy adults. Please, hurry!"
Mom called to let me know the police had arrived. I drove to her house (stopping by the grocery store first so that appeared to be the reason), and saw Ivy and her boyfriend already sitting in the back of a squad car. From a news broadcast that night, I found out that the boyfriend had warrants out for his arrest. Initially, the charges were disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace.
However, Mom turned over the photos of the children (anonymously mailing them through the post office with Ivy's address and name as the return address). Less than a week later, Ivy and her boyfriend were charged with child abuse. The children ended up in foster care, and Ivy and her man ended up in prison.
17. Don't Want To Pay Me? You're Not Gonna Like What I Do To Your Website
When I have the time and come across interesting projects or clients, I take on one-off assignments to create websites, graphics, applications and more for said clients. I recently had a client for whom I created a website. Their old website looked like it was created in the early 90s, but it drew a lot of traffic, so the need to update was clear.
Like always, we first agreed on the scope and design, and my client showcased his competitors websites for me, explaining what kind of things he absolutely wanted for his site -- "but better" as he put it. I then had him sign a standard contract and pay a small up front fee. Everything went smoothly and I got to work.
After the project finished and I sent an invoice to my client, he told me that he won't be paying anymore. During the few days that I had worked, he had watched some YouTube videos about creating websites and he had come to the realization that he, without any prior experience in web design or programming, could create an equally impressive site in pretty much the same time as I had, and so he didn't feel like he should pay me anything extra. I reminded him of our contract and he flat out said that I am free to take him to court, but he won't be paying me.
Obviously I had no intention of taking him to court because it would result in more headache than it'd be worth, but I wasn't just going to let this slide. The website was already live and teeming with visitors, but my client, although they were a newfound web design professional, hadn't realized that I was still the only one who had access to the site's back-end, which meant that I could make any changes to the site and he couldn't do anything about it.
So, I remembered how he had told me about all of his competitors websites. I figured the appropriate response would be to write a script that replaces his company's contact details and opening hours with those of his competitors. Every time the site would load, the script would randomly show one of the competitor's contact details instead. I also made it so that the contact form requests would be sent to a randomly selected competitor's email.
I chose not to inform my client of this and went on to enjoy my vacation. Within a week, I received several emails and a call about my client's concerns that something was wrong, that he hadn't received a new client through the site in almost a week even though the site's visitor count is much higher than before.
I let him know what I had done and I told him that I would undo it, but it would take me about an hour, for which I would be charging. Since I was on vacation, I'd apply the rush fee stated on the contract for that hour. And of course, I told him that this would all be added on top of the original fee that he owed me, plus interest for late payment.
Naturally, this led to insults and threats being thrown in my direction, to which I calmly responded that I will begin work once I have the money in my account and if he doesn't want to lose any more customers to his competitors, he'd best man up quick. He tried to call me immediately and I just declined the call. After the second attempt to call me again, I sent him directly to voice mail.
I received an express payment to my account the very next morning.
16. Fire Everyone At The Christmas Party? Have A Happy New Year
Many years ago (early 1980's) I worked for a company that did what I called "Mall Mollying", they did market research surveys in a mall and were always stopping people to ask questions, etc.
The company was run by three older women who had started it in their kitchen. They were opinionated, and had no care about anything but money. Part of this included paying employees not by the hour but by the survey. Which was against labor rules as it never matched the basic hourly wage. This is important...
Christmas came, and we were planning our employee party when one of the owners called and told us that in order to avoid paying bonuses, we were to fire everyone at the party and then hire back the ones that we liked after the new year.
We (the other managers and I) talked about it, and then I called the Federal Bureau of Labor, who had been trying to get the information for the employee pay for several years but had always been turned away. I had them come to the back door and let them into the file room, and showed them the boxes.
I then said I had things to do in the front and would be back later and went to the front desk to finish the paperwork I needed. Said paperwork? A blow up of Santa going down the chimney with "Merry F-ing Christmas" typed across it, all of the management resignations and the Fed-Ex envelope that would hold our keys and said paperwork.
Labor guy finished what he needed to do, we locked up, sent the package which was timed to arrive at their Christmas party, and walked away. The company ended up spending about $250k in reimbursements and fines for the labor problem.
15. Ruin My Clothes? Now You're Gonna Have To Pay Your Child Support
So this happened when I was 14/15. My mother was married to a man who had an adult son from a previous marriage - I think he was in his mid-20s. He lived the hippie life - literally on the streets by choice, and about once a year or so he would hitchhike his way to our house with his friends, do copious amounts of laundry and pot, and generally just take over as if it was their house. They even left the gas burners on once because they "forgot" they turned the stove on.
Anyhow, like any teenage girl, I was obsessed with my clothes. I had laundry sitting in the dryer, including these awesome corduroy pants I had only worn once. Step-bro and friends are doing laundry and instead of doing something normal like moving my stuff aside or putting it in my room, they decide, "oh man, it would be so dope to cut these up and make like a sweet cape!" So that's what they did.
I saw step-bro wearing this "cape" and recognized the material. "Are those my pants?!?!?" I exclaimed. "They were in the laundry, man, ya know, like finders keepers." I was furious and his dad wouldn't do anything about it. My mom was mad because she had just bought these for me and they were pricey. Mom didn't like this annual visit anyhow, but to keep her marriage, she put up with it.
I wanted to get back at step-bro but he had nothing of value because of his lifestyle. Then I remembered I overheard my parents fighting and my mom had mentioned step-bro had got a girl pregnant, and the kid was like 2 years old and he hadn't so much as given the girl a penny or even seen the child since it was born.
So the next day, my parents were at work, step-bro is hanging out, listening to music or something, I decide to call the cops. I wasn't sure what to say, but I told the dispatcher I knew of someone who might have a warrant out for failure to pay child support. The dispatcher asked the name of the person, I gleefully gave step-bro's name and they confirmed there was in fact a warrant out for him. I gave my address and waited.
20 minutes later, cops roll up. They knock and I let them in, and lead them right to him. "He's right here, officers!" I couldn't stop smiling. They cuffed him and took him off to jail. An hour later, my mom calls the house after step-bro had used his phone call to call his dad, and I tell her exactly what I did. She whispered, "good job" but then pretended to loudly reprimand me as she was with step-dad. Step-dad couldn't get the fine and bail money together fast enough, so step-bro had to sit in jail overnight.
Still makes me happy 20 years later to remember seeing him being taken away in a cop car. My mom luckily divorced that jerk and is now married to a very nice man.
14. Want Me To Hire My Own Replacement? Here's A Kleptomaniac
I was recently let go from my job as a store manager. The company I worked for was abusive to both me and my staff. Some examples (there are a lot more) would be:
- The owners/upper management coming to the store and chasing the staff around while snapping their fingers and saying "You're not working hard enough! Go, go, go!"
- The owners/upper management coming to the store and telling me how fat X employee is.
- The owners/upper management spreading rumors about the staff and I.
- The owners/upper management screaming at us over the phone loud enough that customers could hear it.
A month or so before I was let go I had a pay dispute wherein I explained bluntly, but professionally, how they need to pay me because it's the right thing to do. They had promised extra pay above my salary for working hours I shouldn't have had to then purposely did not pay me that money. Eventually they paid me but they REALLY didn't like that I stood up for myself and thus started their plan to get rid of me. One of them even stopped speaking to me altogether.
After this, I was strangely given permission to hire a staff member for the store. I needed one so I happily posted an ad online and started interviewing people. It took a month but I finally found one I liked and called their references which came back average but good enough. A sales representative I knew saw the resume on my desk and told me I should call X business (which was not on the resume). I did and it turned out this person had been fired for theft of money and product. I decided not to hire the thief.
A few days after deciding against the thief I was forwarded a resume from the owner that had stopped speaking to me. It was instructing me to interview the thief I had decided against. But how did this owner get the thief's resume in their inbox? The ad was mine, and forwarded only to my email, and only I had the password to the account. I followed the link back to an ad that I didn't write and posted from a different account. This ad was for a store manager. A poor attempt at being sneaky. I could have quit right then, but I had a better idea.
The owners are notoriously spiteful. But I know they are also lazy and don't do their due diligence. They think they are having me hire my own replacement without me knowing. So, I hired the thief as my "employee" while the owners, having already seen the thief's resume, sees them as a good fit for store manager. I vouched for the thief's references knowing they'd never call them themselves.
Three weeks later I was let go when I arrived at my store. The owners seemed confused by the big smile on my face when they told me. I was genuinely happy to be finished there. It was the worst employment experience of my life but it was a job of necessity. I was able to collect Employment Insurance, thankfully.
The thief took over managing the store. Thanks to the new store hours the thief works 5 days a week, with no staff, open to close, unsupervised.
13. Try To Scam Me? I'll Ruin Your Computer System
I got our home phone number long before cell phones were a common thing to have. As things have evolved that phone number is part of my history and is good to use for things I don't want ringing on my cellphone (like 99% of anything that requires a phone number for no good reason). So I have kept that phone number alive over the years. Most recently I moved it a few years back to an online service that charges a tiny amount of money per month to host it for me. I access it via a SIP client on my computer.
Because of the nature of the phone number it randomly rings. If I have time, I mess with whomever is calling. Most of the calls are the "your car warranty is about to expire" kind. Some of the calls are about non-existent credit cards. My favorite calls are the scammers. I record all calls that come into this phone number. In my state only one person needs to know that a call is being recorded and besides these scammers are all overseas so I really do not care about their laws.
Today I set a new record: a total of 1 hour of their time wasted.
The call comes in as normal. I string the guy along, I play dumb, I keep them thinking I am an easy target. After 40 minutes I tell him I have to hang up and could he call me back in an hour. To my surprise this idiot calls me back! So I decided to see if I could get him to let me connect to him by continuing to play dumb.
My plan is based on knowing that they have a handful of tools at their disposal, easiest of which is TeamViewer. So I play along until they get me on a TeamViewer but I never give them the real information on my end and I just ask for my partner ID. The idea is that with TeamViewer you can switch who is showing the screen after you make the initial connection. I know that I have but a precious few seconds of time if I manage to get them to give me their ID and password to make my plan happen.
So I have a dummy terminal set aside for all this. I quickly write out my set of commands so I can copy them to my clipboard and launch them as soon as I get connected. Sure enough they give me their ID and password. I am ready and I strike - paste the commands into a RUN window and let it rip. As I see the window pop up with the command prompt and the deletion of folders starts the guy starts to stutter and asks "What are you doing, sir?"
I keep playing dumb until my connection is terminated. All their files have been deleted. The scammer is furious. He starts to curse at me. I eventually start taunting him and cursing back at him. After a while, he hangs up.
Look, I know that they have cloned systems and they will be back up and running in no time at all. But this wasted an hour of their time and that is an hour they can't use to scam someone else.
12. Never Go To War With A Man Who Owns Pigs
I grew up on a horse ranch in Colorado. We had a long piece of property, about 80 acres, and we raised Missouri fox trotters. We had lived there for almost 20 years when some folks bought a strip of property way at the back of our land. It was a strange plot of land as it was very narrow, and was sandwiched between our back fence, and a busy county road. We were surprised anyone would buy it actually, as it forced the house to be pretty close to said road.
Well we never meet these new neighbors until one day my dad gets a notice from a lawyer telling us that after having surveyed the property lines, our back fence encroaches on their property between 3 and 6 inches depending on the spot along the fence line. These folks had never met us, never introduced themselves, our first introduction was this legal demand.
My father was a salt of the earth kind of man, very kind, but also very strong-willed. He called these folks, arranged a meetup, and tried to talk some sense into them. First did 3 to 6 inches really matter that much, and why had they not come to us to talk it through? He even offered a number of different compromises. These folks were hostile from the get-go. They demanded he move the fence immediately, or they would sue. Apparently the law stated they had to put their house so far away from our fence line, and they wanted to push it as far back from the road as they could when they built it, so they wanted that 6 inches very badly.
I still remember when my dad got home from the meeting. He hung his hat up and shook his head when he told my mom in his slow way.
“Well looks like we got the kinda folks for neighbors you don’t ever want to have for neighbors.”
They sued, and won, and we were forced to move the fence in 2 weeks. I say we because I was the free labor as all farm kids are in this kind of thing. All that fencing material, and the time, were a big cost for my family. But we got the work done in early spring.
Here is where the fun comes in… So the new neighbors broke ground and built all through the end of winter and into spring. The very next weekend after they had moved into their house, Dad rousted me out of bed and we took the big truck into town to the lumber yard. I was extremely puzzled as we loaded up a bunch of fencing material, and building supplies. We didn’t have any big projects going that I knew about, and I kept asking him what it was for, but he just told me to wait and see with a devilish smile on his face.
We build a pen and a small enclosure very near our back property line, directly behind the neighbor's new shiny house. The next day one of our farm friends delivered a half dozen pigs.
Dad insisted on feeding those hogs table scraps and all the things that would go in the composter, as well as some good balanced hog feed to keep them healthy.
Now you may not know this, but the smell of pig excrement is directly related to what they eat, and their pen. Table scraps make them smell BAD. I mean BAAAAAAD. I had to drive the four-wheeler back there every day to take care of them, and within a month halfway there and my eyes would start watering it smelled so bad. When we mucked out the pen we also made the pile right next to the pen. I can’t even imagine how bad the smell was living in that house.
The neighbors, of course, freaked out, and again without ever even trying to talk to us, went the legal route. They lost, the area was zoned agricultural, and my dad had done his homework to make sure he was breaking now laws or regulations.
When winter moved in, we sold the pigs and dad stacked up a bunch of building supplies next to the pen and let the neighbors know we would be expanding our pig pen in the spring when they came out to scream at him. He smiled the whole time, speaking in his slow steady way.
The new neighbors sold their new house in January when the ground was frozen and the new owners would not smell the pen. Though as soon as the old neighbors were gone we tore down the enclosure, spread the nasty stuff on the hayfield, and the new neighbors never had any bad smell come spring.
Never mess with a rancher…
11. Won't Sell Me A Car? You Can Wash My New One Instead
My friend's dad is a pretty wealthy guy and owns his own construction business. One day, dad walks into a car dealership. He was interested in buying a Mercedes G Wagon. He went inside and was ignored for almost an hour while other customers were treated. Eventually a couple of salesmen approach dad and ask him what he's doing here.
Sad starts asking about the cars. The Salesmen were very dismissive and sarcastic in response to him. It's clear they aren't taking him seriously and begin to leave. Dad becomes irritated and asks what their problem was. They argue for a minute when the manager comes and tells dad to leave. Dad had just come from work and was wearing slightly dirty jeans, boots and a t-shirt. He's also a dark skinned man. Both of these factors probably made him look lower class in their eyes.
Little did they know. A few weeks later Dad ends up purchasing the car at another dealership. He negotiated free car washes for "life" as he traded in one of his luxury cars. Apparently he was able to go to other Dealerships in the area who authorized the same thing regarding car washes.
Dad ends up going to first dealership and throws the keys on the front counter. He demanded a car wash. The same manager eventually came by to object but dad showed him all the paperwork. He looked a bit shocked and begrudgingly got the process started. Dad has been going back almost every day for car washes. He always cheekily smiles at all the staff members with a crap eating grin as a greeting, especially the two salesmen. They now just hang their head in shame and walk away whenever they see him.
10. You Want Proof I'm Sick? Here's A Picture You'll Never Forget
I had a boss one time who was such a control freak that she demanded to know specifically why I was calling out sick (WILDLY illegal where I live) one day. And for reference I'm typically the guy who never gets sick, so it wasn't an attendance issue.
I told her I think I had food poisoning and she kept pressing me as to explain what my symptoms were and why I couldn't make it in -- all via text. I had finally had enough and was like "look, I'm not physically capable of working today and you are not allowed to ask me personal questions about illness and medical history!"
She threatened me with a write up if I couldn't specifically explain/prove why I couldn't make it into work. This is where the pro revenge comes in. I was about to send her something horrific, that she could not unsee... and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it, since she technically asked for it.
Being that I was living in the bathroom for more than two days and had aggressive diarrhea every 15-30 minutes and the worst abdominal pain I've ever experienced, I took a pretty disturbing picture of me painting the bowl brown right before I flushed and sent it to her.
"This is happening every 15-30 minutes and I haven't been able to leave the bathroom for the last 6 hours. Here is your proof, check the timestamp. I'll let you know as soon as I can if I'll be in tomorrow."
So after 3 days off I show up for my shift, sleep deprived and sore from sleeping in my bath tub or on the floor for 2.5 days. She immediately escorts me into her office where our regional HR rep is waiting for me, and we all sit down. He has paperwork in front of him and is discussing the 'incident' with me and gets me to acknowledge what I did and that sending "unprovoked and offensive content" to coworkers constitutes harassment right before he asks me to sign a final write up (if you do something like this again, you're fired).
Before signing I asked him, "Did she tell you why i sent this?" He was dumbfounded and said this isn't really excusable and basically handed me a screenshot printout of the text messages where she deleted everything in the exchange (in her phone) BUT me saying "sorry, but I need to take a sick day today," and the picture.
I laughed and handed him my phone and said here is the full exchange. He asked me to leave and "give them a few minutes." About 10 minutes later he calls me in, by myself, and explained what I already knew: that she was the harasser and that she had aggressively violated privacy laws and would be dealt with, and to call him "if anything like this ever happens again."
I found out from one of the assistant managers that she ended up getting a final written notice and was super close to being fired, and it prevented her from getting a big promotion that she was being considered for.
So, if you ever come across a moron boss who wants to play doctor and question your sick leave, send them diarrhea pics and they'll either shut up or give you lawsuit material.
Julien L
9. Steal The Show At My Wedding? Just Wait For Your Wedding
Last summer I was at a cousin's wedding. His bride and her family had been close with ours since before I was born, and the couple had known each other since they were toddlers, so it was a particularly exciting event for both sides of the family.
However, after the ceremony was over and the party had only just started, one of the bridesmaids decided to announce her own engagement. The attention was immediately taken away from the newlyweds and brought to the bridesmaid (who I'll call Sarah) and her equally-smug fiancé.
My cousin's wife (I'll call her Emma) didn't make a scene or utter a single negative word about Sarah. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, but she kept grinning and acted very happy for the other couple. This was unusual, as Emma is typically quite confrontational and speaks her mind no matter the consequences.
Sarah later picked Emma to be the maid of honor at her own wedding, which took place last weekend.
This is where the fun begins.
Emma's two much-younger sisters were the flower girls at Sarah's wedding. At the very last moment, Emma switched out the white petals in their baskets to blue ones she had secretly brought with her. She told her sisters not to say anything about it or let the bride see them until it was time to scatter them down the aisle.
Sarah looked very confused upon seeing the blue petals (which didn't coordinate whatsoever with her theme), but of course she didn't say anything about it in the moment. Most of Sarah's other bridesmaids were also Emma's friends, had attended Emma's wedding, and were in on Emma's scheme.
At the reception, Emma's sisters and the other bridesmaids were tight-lipped when Sarah began demanding to know why there were blue petals. The wedding planner ended up getting a lot of abuse for not checking the flower girls' baskets before they walked down the aisle.
Finally, it was time for the speeches. The speeches took place in front of a massive screen, displaying a loop of photos with Sarah and her husband, which had been compiled by Emma.
Emma took the remote that controlled the presentation screen and at first she showed some pre-approved humorous photos of Sarah with Emma and other friends to facilitate a couple lighthearted jokes.
Then, at the very end, Emma said to Sarah that she must be wondering why there were blue petals instead of the white ones originally planned.
That was when Emma displayed the last slide from her presentation.
Emma announced in front of everyone that she was five months pregnant, and that she'd just discovered the baby was a boy, hence the blue petals. The last slide? Her ultrasound picture.
There were shocked yells and gasps. Sarah had a fit, but those involved in the scheme cheered so loudly. Apparently Sarah had been very nasty to her bridesmaids before, driving several of them away and forcing the others to pay ridiculous amounts of money for dresses.
Emma and my cousin were eventually thrown out of the party, but they were all smiles. Sarah's fuming mother went to confront her outside, and Emma retorted with, "Gentle, gentle! I'm pregnant!"
I bet Sarah doesn't speak to the majority of those bridesmaids anymore.
Nathan Dumlao
8. Steal My Work On Our Group Project? I'll Get You Expelled
This happened about 12 years ago while I was studying Aeronautical Engineering. Due to some money-grubbing legislation tactics, most who have gone to college know about the unnecessary courses that are tacked onto the degrees in order to graduate. One of those courses for my degree was a business class.
This class stumped me for quite some time and then a nightmare of a project was announced: one worth 50% of our grades.
The school was a small one, the class a little more than 30 people, and I was assigned to work with three people I knew from other classes. We had problems straight away. Two of the people remembered me from a Calculus class that they barely passed as the person who sailed easily through and decided to dump their portion of the work on me straight away, knowing I wouldn't allow myself to fail. They were right.
At first my other group member tried to pick up the slack as well, pulling hard to do a difficult project in a subject we barely understood. I'll admit she was a trouper. Unfortunately, she was also someone easily manipulated and our two slacking group members began applying pressure during the semester for her to take the work and allow them to present it.
The day of the project finally comes and I'm sick as a dog, pretty much quarantined in the clinic due to bronchitis. I managed to send a message to the teacher. The two slackers manage to wrangle the presentation from the girl who worked with me and presented it to the class, declaring that they had done all of the work and I was skipping class because they had told me that they were going to tell the teacher what happened.
My initial grade was an F. I was beyond furious until I realized something important: part of the project involved a written report, of which I held the only copy since I was the one to type it up.
Cue the revenge: privately I went to the teacher with my notes and the report in order to get the grade I earned and to get him in on the plot. He agreed since it seemed fun and he planned to fail them anyway for academic dishonesty. Publicly, there was no report.
The classmates that had attempted to take all the credit began to approach me, first demanding the report. Most of the time, my response was, "But I didn't do any work!" in a sickly sweet voice.
Next they attempted to act all buddy-buddy, trying to convince me that it had all been a joke and promising that they'd tell the professor that I had done some work, giving me some credit so that I had the possibility to pass. This was met with stony silence on most occasions before I told them that I'd rather fail than let them pass.
Things escalated after that to include the door of my dorm room being rapped on at odd hours of the night, shoving, and them stealing my backpack and notebooks in order to try to find the report themselves.
Things finally came to a head on the last week of classes. I had held out on them for a month, not telling any of my group mates what I had done. They hadn't even attempted to do the report themselves and the girl who had worked with me was in hysterics over the very real possibility of failing the class. It was what the teacher and I had been waiting for and he finally decided to return the reports.
The two slackers glared daggers at me as the teacher returned the report of every other group in the class before stopping in front of them. He was holding what looked to be one extra report and they were immediately looking hopeful. He set a single sheet of paper on one of their desks before moving to the desk of the girl who had worked along with me and set the report on her desk.
"I had to dock some points for dishonesty, but you and your partner did decently," he stated before moving on.
My partner realized what I had done. We only got an 82 on our project, but it was far better than the 0 that our ex-group mates received.
I had been carefully documenting the harassment that the two slackers had put me through and ensured several witnesses saw some of what they did. Two days after being informed that they were failing, the pair had a new problem: I gave the evidence to the administration of our school and the teacher reported the academic dishonesty. The administration did a bit more digging and found that the pair had been making trouble for some time and a number of students reported similar problems of having their work stolen.
The slackers were expelled.
7. Fire An Innocent Man For Stealing? Lose Your Business
My nephew, Bob, had a job selling cell phones at store in a mall. The store was owned by a licensed distributor of one of the big name brands. He was very good at convincing customers to buy calling plans, extended warranties, and accessories that were obscenely profitable. Pretty soon he was the #1 salesman in the store.
The owners asked him to transfer to their other store in a different mall, replacing the assistant manager who they had just fired. In addition to an increase in his base pay, he’d get a cut of every sale made while he was in charge.
It took him about 2 days to figure out why sales were down. Clueless sales reps and lousy management. The manager would disappear for hours at a time leaving the sales reps to sit around ignoring customers. Most of them would show up late, leave early or not bother coming in at all. And when they did speak to a customer they had no idea how to make a sale. On his first day he outsold them all. After making sure the guys on his shift were actually doing their jobs, especially when it came to selling the high profit add-ons, the store’s sales improved. The store manager saw what was happening and wasn’t too happy. He knew it was matter of time before he was kicked out and Bob took his job.
One day they received a shipment of new phones. As usual Bob signed for them and locked them in a storage closet.
The next day was his day off. The manager called and insisted he come in immediately because there was problem. Overnight someone had broken into the store and stolen about a hundred of these brand new phones. The mall security camera showed two people driving up to the back door, opening it with a key, shutting of the alarm and walking out with the phones. The police were called.
He was grilled by the police for a couple of hours but they had no evidence against him and he had an alibi. But the manager convinced the owners that Bob was probably involved since he had signed for the phones, had keys to the door and storage closet and knew the alarm code.
Bob argued that they hadn’t changed the locks or code after they fired the previous assistant manager and anyone could know about the shipment. But he was fired – actually they allowed him to resign. And they stiffed him on his last commission check.
At the other end of the mall was a store that sold phones for one of the competing cell companies. They knew that since he had joined that other store their sales were suffering. They hired him on the spot.
Sales improved overnight. One of his favorite tricks was to stand in front of the store and wait for a customer to walk by carrying a shopping bag from that other store. He’d chat them up about their brand new phone, calling plan, warranty etc, (It’s amazing how much the average mall shopper is willing to share with a stranger)
Then he’d tell them that they probably didn’t need the extended warranty and those accessories could be purchased at Wal~Mart for about half the price. And he could sell them the exact phone with better plan for less money. If they agreed he would walk them back to that other store and tell the clueless sales rep how to void that sale he just made, then bring the customer back to his store to pick up their new phone.
It took about 3 months before that other store closed its doors.
6. Go Through My Trash? I Left A Surprise For You
My mom lives in a really small town, where people get into other peoples business quite often.
My brother and his family live next door to my mom, on opposite ends of shared property. Though it is shared land, they do have separate addresses for their homes. They will often share responsibilities and the like.
Well, neither household accumulates enough trash each week to justify both of them having trash service. My mom pays for the pickup and they share a trash can. They rarely even fill the one can between both households.
The trash man noticed a piece of junk mail with my brothers name and address on it one day, and had a fit. Saying that they had to pay for their own trash service. My mom ignored him. They weren't doing anything wrong. Trash man didn't like this. He started going through her trash before dumping it in the truck to make sure there wasn't anything in there with my brothers information on it. My brother's household started burning all junk mail, so no one is the wiser, even if they weren't doing anything wrong.
The trash man kept threatening to have their service canceled. Again, my mom ignored him. He kept digging through the trash and just being a jerk in general. I told her she should have reported him, but she didn't.
Fast forward a couple of weeks. My mom has chickens. Something kept killing my moms chickens. My brother set a trap to catch or kill whatever it was and they waited. A few days later, the culprit of the chicken killing was caught. It was a skunk. At this point, the skunk was dead and smelled awful. Instead of disposing of the skunk properly, my mom decided to be a jerk. She had my brother put the skunk in the trash can under a bag of trash. It baked in the sun for a couple of days before the trash man came again.
Mom stood outside and watched as the smug trash man opened the can to dig through it and gagged from the stench of the dead, recently sprayed skunk. I don't think my mom had ever been so proud of herself. Trash man stopped digging through the trash and stopped making threats after that though.
5. Yell At Your Staff? Now You're The Only One Who Works Here
I used to work in a small family-owned doctors office. A couple of years in, they got in a legal fight and experienced staff started leaving. Being young and dumb, I wanted to be loyal and ended up managing half of the doctor’s office.
The other half was managed by Brittany. She had a team of three that did the work of six.
The company got bought, and a new owner came in. He was like Danny DeVito in gold chains and a bad toupee. He was dumb and no one respected him. He screamed constantly, about little things, at anyone. He micromanaged and didn't bother to understand someone's job before telling them how to do it better. He tried to streamline processes without knowing how they worked. But mostly, he yelled.
One day, the hardest working person in the entire clinic, a nurse who started every appointment, was a few minutes late. She was a single mother and her kid was sick, so she showed up less than ten minutes later than usual.
Danny proceeded to berate the nurse in front of the entire office. When the nurse put in her notice at the end of the day, Danny fired her on the spot. Told her to leave and never come back.
I had been job searching, and had actually gotten an offer. I was planning on giving a lot of notice but couldn’t give notice if I’d be fired immediately -- I had student loans and was paycheck-to-paycheck.
I grabbed the two remaining members of the admin staff and explained that I was going to quit without notice before too long. Brittany understood, and said she too was in the final stages of taking a new job. We agreed that we would quietly all find new jobs, then duck out when it was convenient.
A week or so later, Danny started screaming about the color of tape I’d used to duct tape down a power cable months before. I had used orange and yellow to make it more visible, but Danny said that was unprofessional. I asked him how he’d like me to fix it.
Danny: "Well, that’s not my problem. That’s yours."
I paused for a second and said…
Me: “You know, I don’t think it is my problem. I’m out.”
I grabbed my small box of desk things as Danny howled at me:
Danny: “You will never find another job in this town! I own every doctor’s office in this county! I don’t need you, since I’ve got Brittany”
Brittany looked at him and said:
Brittany: “I’d been meaning to tell you that today is my last day.”
We packed our things and walked out, as Danny called the cops saying his employees were stealing things like their own birthday cards and pictures of their kids.
Without front desk, billing, or nursing staff, a doctor’s office simply can’t run. I’m told they were closed for almost two weeks before they got temporary employees, but had no one to train them.
Danny shuttered and re-sold the business a few months later to the Big Dog in the industry, which is a charity. Since their books are open, we saw that they bought the company (really just the clients list) for about 15% less than what Danny had paid a few months prior.
4. Fire Me For Being In The Hospital? I'll Call The Health Inspector
I was an employee at a well-known breakfast chain, particularly popular for their wide selection of pancakes, for nearly three years. I was decently well-liked among the employees and had a very good friend who had just been promoted to a shift manager by the former general manager, who was a really great guy that unfortunately got transferred to a different store against his wishes. He was replaced by a horrible, power-hungry shift manager that no one cared for.
So a typical work week for me was six days a week, between 60-70 hours a week, with Tuesdays being my only day off. My shifts ranged from eight hours to as much as an 18-hour double shift (important later). I worked this schedule without complaint for years of my life.
Unfortunately on September 10th, I fell very ill while at work with no known cause. This was accompanied by very severe, stabbing pain in my lower right abdomen. I called the general manager (it was about 12am at this point) and informed her I planned on leaving to go to the ER, to which she told me if I left, then I would be fired.
Now at the time, I really needed this job, so not wanting to be fired, I decided to work through my shift. I had two hours remaining, but it was a nightmare to work through. Finally, 2 am rolled around and I immediately left to drive to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was admitted almost immediately into the hospital due to scan results showing an inflamed appendix. I called the general manager, and let her know that I was being admitted to the hospital, and would keep her updated.
Her response? "If you're going to try to get out of work, can you at least find someone to cover your shift in the morning? Some people..." Note at this point, it was around 3:30 am, my next shift that she wanted me to cover, was at 8 am the next morning. A few hours later, I was notified that I needed an appendectomy, and it would be scheduled for the following morning. I agreed, signed the release, and called up my manager to notify her. I told her that I would be out of work for at least a few days, but after surgery, I'd let her know. It is important to know that I kept her informed throughout my entire absence.
So surgery went smoothly, however they found that I had a gangrene infection in my appendix that appeared to have spread. Due to complications involving this, my hospital stay ended up being two full weeks.
I was discharged at noon and drove to work almost immediately after discharge to inform them I was out of the hospital and cleared to come back, as well as bring the hospital note, proving I was there. To my surprise, the regional manager is there. I walk in and find both the regional and the general manager at the front counter having a conversation. I slide the note towards them on the desk and inform them that I was cleared to come back to work.
The general manager looked at me in utter disbelief. "Excuse me? You've already been terminated for no-call-no-showing for two weeks." I reminded her that I did, in fact, keep her informed, and had proof. She cut me off, and with an annoyed tone, said that she'd give me another chance. I came back in that night for my shift, luckily working with my friend the shift manager. I was also training a guy I had never seen before.
My friend later called me into the office, and that's when I learned that I was only rehired so that I couldn't file a wrongful-termination suit, and said that the person I was currently training was my replacement. The general manager had plans to fire me the next morning. As shocked as I was, we immediately hatched a plan.
So this restaurant was dirty. Huge roaches infesting the kitchen and dining room, black mould, rotten food mixed with fresh food, water leaks so bad the carpet in the dining room is literally decaying, you name it. We have reported these issues to the general manager multiple times, but nothing ever happened. My friend sent the trainee home, with the excuse that our labor was too high, and I spent the remainder of my shift taking pictures of every continuous health-code violation I saw.
Finally, the next morning rolled around. I woke up to a call from the general manager. Sure enough, she demanded that I turned my uniform in because I was being terminated immediately. I drove up there and asked for the reason behind my termination, and she replied that I was a "lazy worker who always complained that they had hours." Not in the mood to argue, I simply turned in my uniform, and left. But that's not the end of my plan.
I was one of the only food-safety permitted employees. I had just renewed my permit, so all of the information in the class was fresh on my mind. I also distinctly remember the health inspector teaching the class stated that if we wanted to report our workplace, just come in, ask for him, and bring evidence. I went straight to the health department, asked to speak with him, and supplied seven written paragraphs of every violation, as well as all of the pictures I had taken to back my claim up.
He informed me that with the picture evidence, it would be hard for the restaurant to fight. He also informed me he would follow up with a surprise inspection the next morning. The next morning, I woke up, and found messages from my general manager, calling me a "snitch". Luckily, my friend recorded the entire inspection from the office.
The regional manager was slapped with a hefty $7,000 fine for allowing unpermitted employees to work, and the restaurant was ordered to shut down operations to clean. However, being a barely profitable franchise, the franchisee (who owned many other locations) closed it down and ran off.
Now as much as I want to feel bad for the people left without work, I don't, and for the decent employees, the story actually has somewhat of a happy ending, as most have moved on to better things.
3. Ruin My Phone? It Will Cost You Thousands
This happened a few years ago when I was in high school.
My school had an after-class, sports training which was open for whatever student wanted to come, except the training was 3 hours after all classes ended and since we weren’t allowed to stay, we had to go home and come back before the training started. As a result, the students that attended had to wait outside when they arrive until the school gate opened so we would usually sit on the sidewalk and talk while we waited.
That is when the problem started.
A very petty woman lived across the street from the school, let’s call her Mary. Mary did not like us sitting on the sidewalk, so she would shout at us and insult us even though we weren't doing anything. We mostly didn't care and just ignored her.
On a very hot day, the sun made the concrete in front of the school too hot to sit on, so we all sat on the other side of the street, right in front of Mary's house. Not even two minutes later Mary was screaming at us to get off of her sidewalk, when we refused she went back inside her house.
The next thing I felt was my back getting wet followed by my friends screaming. Mary had poured cold water on us from her window.
We were VERY angry because not only were we not able to train while soaking wet, my friend's phone was in her hand and got destroyed because of the water.
We screamed every curse word existent at her until our coach arrived and told us to stop. We explained to him what happened and he said that he would talk to the principal about it. We knew that probably nothing would happen to her so we decide to take it into our own hands.
We thought a lot about how to get revenge but since doing something illegal would get us expelled and possibly arrested we had to be smart about this.
My friend noticed that Mary's sidewalk was very narrow. That is when the revenge part comes in. Before starting we measured Mary's sidewalk and it was about 90cm, the minimum by law was 150cm. Perfect.
With that knowledge, my friend and I went to the department of infrastructure in town and reported Mary's house. Just to be sure we asked what exactly would happen if she was breaking the law.
The penalty was $500 per square meter not in compliance per month counting the day she was notified. The penalty would double after 12 months.
Since the government doesn't lose an opportunity to make money we knew that all we had to do now was wait.
Just for fun we also measured the length of the house and it was about 500cm, we did the math and it would cost her about $1,500 every single month until she took the entire front of her house down and rebuilt it further back, which would also be very expensive.
Lo and behold, 3 months later there were workers destroying the front of the house.
2. A Stone Castle
We were kids staying at the seaside on holiday with our family. My little sister would always make a pretty sandcastle, and the next day it would have been kicked down and she'd cry.
We wanted to find out who was doing it, so one day we stayed behind to spy. We watched as a bunch of mean older boys came by and kicked her castle down, laughing smugly. So the next night, we covered a big beach rock in the sand and decorated it. Like clockwork, the mean kids came with their smug faces and this time kicked a solid rock with all of their might. The howls and the pained looks on their faces were the best revenge ever.
1. Personal Drinks
I used to work at Target. In the break room, we have a fridge which we all use. A couple of days in a row, I would buy orange and apple juice to take home and write a note saying, "Please do not drink." Of course, by the time I got off and decided to get my juice, it would be gone or half gone.
Annoyed after dealing with this for about five days, I bought a large apple and orange juice and the strongest laxative in the store. I mixed it and left it in the fridge with the same note as usual. The next five hours of my shift were the best ever. I mean, just about everyone was going -- from the store manager cutting meetings short to cashiers leaving in the middle of transactions.
