I was in a metro in Paris, don't remember the station. When the train stopped, I remember noticing a young woman standing on the opposite platform that had a bit of a weird look to her, but I didn't think much of it. Was distracted for a moment, and when I looked back, she was standing there all naked and still just staring into the air. Unfortunately, my train rolled on, before I... er ... could examine the situation more closely.

This tiny, elderly Chinese woman was carrying a live chicken by the feet in one hand and a shopping bag in the other. She tried to get on the bus but the driver stopped her. They argued back and forth for a bit. Finally, she let out an exasperated growl, broke the chicken's neck, stuffed it in the bag, and shouted, "It groceries now!"

A woman on the London tube brought three live ducks in harnesses onto the carriage. They just stood there chilling and quacking away.

Dude across from me takes everything out of his backpack while kind of muttering to himself. I figure he’s looking for something. He then proceeds to put the backpack on his head like some kind of hazmat mask. Guess he needed to take a closer look.

I saw a young woman get on, early-mid twenties, just totally obliterated. She sat far back behind me so I didn't hear anything, and the next thing I know, this super jacked guy was yelling for the bus driver to stop the bus. He was manhandling an old mid-50s guy off the bus. Muscle guy started yelling, "Get this creep off the bus! He was back there kissing a passed out girl."

Although in 10 years taking the bus this is the most I've ever witnessed happen, so the bus is genuinely a safe place to be.

In Melbourne, I've seen a lot of people chroming on the train, which is where people inhale paint cans or petrol, usually from a plastic or paper bag.

One day on my way to university, I saw a guy inhaling from a paper bag. "Oh, another chroming dude, awesome," I dismissively thought to myself. Suddenly he pulled a sandwich out of the bag and began eating it, then threw the bag away. Dude was just inhaling his sandwich.

I was on a sleeper train going from Hamburg to Rotterdam and woke up in the middle of the night to a 60ish year old German lady violently pleasuring herself on the bunk opposite while staring into my very soul. Once I saw her, I just pretended to go back to sleep. I wasn't asleep. She knew.

In the morning when we arrived and were leaving the train, she winked at me.

I live in Detroit. I saw a grown man pull a fish out of a bag and slap a girl with it on the bus! Honestly i was scared for my life.

I once saw an elderly guy pushing another old man in a wheelchair in the underground. The man in the wheelchair wore sunglasses (not a sunny day) and had staring eyes behind them. He also had his feet crossed in a way no old man would have. His hands were really pale and folded on his lap. I could not see him breathing.

But the strangest thing was that the elderly man was holding the old man's head the whole time. Not gently, but really holding it with his two hands as if it would fall off.

I still don't know if he was dead, a puppet, or really sick. But it was somehow really scary.

Two guys get on the same train carriage as me. I’m sitting behind then. It’s mid morning and the train is quite full on this Western Sydney line. Nonchalantly they pull out a kit consisting of needles and spoon and cook up right there and then! They have their hit and then proceed to each spark up a smoke, not even acknowledging the other passengers.

Someone must have called the police because a couple of stops later the cops met the train and come and pulled the guys off.

A guy was standing next to me with a model train (modelled after the V/Line Trains in Victoria, Australia) that he just bought. He proceeded to strike up a conversation with me, telling me about how he was bitten by a dog, sued the owner, and used the money he got to buy the model. He even showed me both the bite wound and took the model out of its box to show me. A strange experience, but also quite interesting.

A homeless woman started to bathe herself on the F train. She stripped down on a moderately full car and used two gallon jugs of spring water and a roll of paper towels.

Little rivulets of homeless lady bathwater streaked across the floor as everyone lifted their feet, wishing the train would come to a stop quickly.

I once saw a bee fly onto the DC metro and land on a seat. It sat there quietly for one stop and then took off again when the door opened. Very polite, respectful fellow passenger, honestly.

I'm a woman. I stayed in Istanbul for a month. During that time, I came to the conclusion that some women lean back to back to avoid harassment on public transit.

My first encounter was very weird though. It was very crowded and there were only two other girls there. Without saying anything, they wiggled their way to me and both leaned their backs against my back. Not gonna lie, I was quite spooked. Haven't experienced it anywhere else.

My buddy licked about two feet of handrail on the 4 train. An elderly lady said she had been riding the train her entire life and that was "hands down the most f----d up thing I ever saw."

We were riding the DART rail in Dallas to the State Fair of Texas. There was this strung out crazy guy on there with us who kept staring at my 1-year-old son and repeating in a low, creepy voice: “He will not take you, but He will take the child. He will not take you, but He will take the child.”

Needless to say, we were not happy. We just wanted funnel cakes, not threats of demonic kidnapping.

I saw a man take his shoes off and clip his nails on the train. Left his nasty nails all over the seat and floor once he got out.

I saw an elderly lady pull out a can of lysol, spray her armpits then lift up her skirt and spray it between her legs. There was no reaction or acknowledgement of what she just did. I moved to the next car ASAP.

Not bad but amazing: a girl with no arms bellow her elbows sat in front of me. She was carrying her lunch in a 7/11 plastic bag.

She opened her bag, took out a sandwich (that kind that you get in 7/11), opened it and started eating it. Also she took out a juice box, put the straw in it and started drinking. She enjoyed half her sandwich before she noticed that her stop was coming. She wrapped the sandwich carefully, put the juice box and the sandwich in the plastic bag, stood up and left.

All without help from anybody, without making a mess, carefully and gracefully. With no hands. Using what nature gave her and with no expression of self pity or anything like that. She was the master of her life.

A woman got arrested for allegedly injecting strangers with an HIV syringe, but the whole thing was known by everyone who used public transport in my city. People made groupchats just to warn each other about the HIV lady. Idk what happened to her but hopefully she got arrested cuz that week was insane and a lot of people were saying they got stung. Yeesh.

The worst thing I ever saw on public transit would have to be a couple roleplaying. Both were mid-thirties and heavyset. The man was dressed normally, but the women was done up like some kind of baby. I mean, she even had a pacifier. She kept asking her “daddy” repeatedly, baby voice and all, if they were at the park yet.

That’s not even the worst part of it; she would give her pacifier to her partner and he’d slob on it (heavily) and put it back in her mouth for her. And she would make this weird crooning noise. I’m shivering already just remembering.

A guy on a train, seesawing back and forth saying:"I will kill everyone, everyone. The streets will be flooded with blood. The day will come close, I will kill everyone, no mercy, no survivors, a feast for everyone. Even the innocent, the innocent will die." And so on.

I don't think he's made good on his word yet, but who knows what the future will hold?

There was a guy (about 15 years old, chubby and always wearing a light blue t-shirt) who always took the bus line I took a few years ago (actually several times). When the bus stopped and the driver opened the door, he just stood there with his little suitcase, staring at me or another passenger, he said, "Take my suitcase in." No "please" no "can you" -- just a straight order.

I thought that he had some kind of problem and that he couldn't carry heavy objects but once I grabbed his suitcase it was pretty light. And as I said, he did not look like a weak guy. I expect everyone to be able to do this on his/her own.

This happened several times and I have no explanation as to why this guy always had his little suitcase with him and why he always wanted others to carry it for basically 1 foot and also why he was behaving this strangely.

Saw an elderly, homeless woman get up from her seat, start yelling and screaming. Then start stripping. Unfortunately I couldn't get off the train to switch cars because she was blocking one end and the conductor was at the other end.

Eventually, we get to the next stop where I see police waiting. I switched cars and didn't look back. 16 months until I leave NYC. Not that I'm counting or anything.

Here is my weird and disgusting story from the tube (London Underground):

On a relatively busy underground carriage, an obviously tired professional looking lady drifted of to sleep in her seat. At the next stop a guy gets on the train who has a bad hacking cough and is also carrying a pungent odour with him. He sits in the chair opposite the sleeping lady and this is when his hacking cough becomes more noticeable. A few minutes later he coughs so violently a globule of what is either sputum or saliva lands on the lapel of the sleeping lady. The guy gets of at the next stop and now the whole train carriage is looking at the sputum on the ladies jacket.

Well she finally jerks awake and the first thing she notices is everyone staring at her. She is obviously taken aback by this and quickly tries to figure out why we are all looking. That's when she notices the saliva/phlegm. She must've thought that she was drooling when she slept because instead of cleaning it off with a tissue she decided the best course of action would be to quickly and discreetly use her mouth. She darted her eyes around the carriage and then as if in slow motion she lifted the lapel up to her lips and quickly sucked up the sputum/saliva globule.

We all wanted to stop her but none of us did. She acted so quickly there was nothing we could do to stop her. Before she had actually noticed the saliva we are all being terribly British and refusing to break the no talking on the tube rule. Just hoping she wouldn't notice it or if she did notice she would just wipe it off with a tissue. After she had sucked up the phlegm it was too late to say anything and we all wordlessly agreed it was better to let her continue believing that it was her own saliva/sputum.

About fifteen years ago I took a bus and a woman sat next to me at the very back and asked me what I was reading. I was reading about the War of 1812 and she wanted to know everything about it. I was delighted to explain it to her.

After about ten minutes of pleasant conversation, she suddenly got up and said, "Wait just one minute," then goes up to a young couple at the front of the bus who were speaking in Arabic.

Out of nowhere she started screaming at them and saying they were responsible for 9/11, that they were monsters, literal pieces of garbage, etc. Everyone was shocked (this was in Toronto) and the man started yelling back. The driver strangely did nothing to stop the woman, and the couple got off as soon as they could.

Then, with everyone on the bus staring at her, the woman walked back to the seat next to me and tried to resume our conversation about the War of 1812 as if nothing had occurred.

I once saw a guy cut a small hole in the seat’s cover and pick pieces of cushion out to eat.

I saw a lady with a rat in her hoodie. She was whispering to it to "be quiet, I don't want to get in trouble again." Meanwhile, a guy was behind me with his phone in his Beanie was blasting screamo music really loud in his ear. Rural Australia is weird sometimes.

This really well-dressed lady in a business suit stood up and started taking out newspapers to put on the floor. She pulled her pants down, took a dump, wrapped it up and casually stuffed the soiled newspaper into her handbag like it was nothing. The bus driver was yelling at her the whole time but she didn't have a care in the world. She just scanned her card and got off at the next stop.

A British girl who had obviously been partying started grinding up on a guy in the tube. He seemed into it until she peed all over him. When he walked off, she didn’t have anyone anymore to help her stand up, so she fell down and sat on the ground in her own pee begging him to come back.

Oh Brits. What a beautiful people!

I was riding a greyhound home a few years ago. The man across the aisle kept licking his hand (like a big, wet, full palm lick) and rubbing it on his leg. He did this for about an hour straight before I turned to him and asked:

“I’m sorry, but why are you doing that?”

He said “it makes the pain go away.”

This is on the F train in NYC. Naturally.

A homeless guy gets on the train at some random stop, proceeds to sit down like a normal, not-so-well-adjusted homeless dude, talking to himself. As soon as the train starts moving, he drops his pants and takes a poop on the seat. Everyone around him seems to be intentionally looking in every other direction and pretending it didn't happen.

Naturally, the homeless dude pulls out a notebook and a sharpie and writes "Please Do Not Thank You" (no, I did NOT accidentally a word there -- that is exactly what he wrote) on the paper, rips out the page, then places the paper over his fresh shit on the seat.

He got off the train at the next stop.

I don't even know, dude.

Someone doing pull ups and other workouts using the standing bar holds on the BART. He was an acquaintance of mine but not during the ride he wasn’t.

Travelling on the London Underground every day gives me many stories. Highlights have to probably be the rather polite hammered, homeless man in an Arsenal shirt who told my friend she looked like Cleopatra and then gave her two pence, or a man on the Tube last week who came on and started preaching about loving people no matter what religion, race or ethnicity, and then did a tap dance.

Old dude walks onto the train. Like super old dude. Maybe a Kung fu master type of old. He's a regular troublemaker. When we see him, we know that he's going to harass someone. Everyone knows a public commuter like that.

So, Dude is humming a tune but as he passes the first person, he says "Duck" and touches the top of their head. "Tap". It's gross. He continues in a predictable manner as everyone tries to dodge his awful hand. "Duck 'Tap', duck 'tap', duck 'tap', duck 'tap', duck 'tap'," he repeats this mantra as he touches scalps. He touches your head and you feel microbes leave his finger tips and invade your head.

So things are getting intense because no one knows what's going to happen when he reaches the back of the train since there's this big guy sitting at the end of the train with a I-wish-you-would expression on his face and Bruce Lee's master is in the middle of the coach already. It's like Russian Roulette after the trigger's been pulled for the fourth time.

Anyway, touchy dude is busy ducking all the passengers and time's finally up. The big guy, who's probably about 55, is confronted by the super ancient dude. It's awkward and intense and a stare off is underway. Now, I already got my frontal lobe blessed by this guy, so I'm waiting for the big guy to get his.

The old guy raises his hand like a priest. The word that we anticipate is about to come out, he gets the first syllable out, "GOO..." and WACK!!!! The big guy strikes him with the power of Shaka Zulu. Everyone erupts. The old man falls, stumbles up and leaves the coach, never to be seen on the train again.

I saw a young female in a tight white shirt pour a huge bottle of water on her chest. She would then yell "sicko!" at anyone who looked at her.

I was taking a train at night and some guy was standing with his back against the nearest door, scissors in both hands, as he just snipped at the air.

This weird dude was sitting at the front of the bus. He was holding the strings on his jacket and pulling them like he was steering the bus.

When the bus was about to turn left he would pull the right string and vice versa, all the time shouting "look at me! I'm driving this bus!!!"

Well that was all well and good until the bus came to a point where he wanted to go left, but the bus route went right. The guy started freaking out because he had lost control of the bus. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" and started rolling about on the floor and freaking out. The bus driver (the real one) had to boot him off.

I was on a minibus in Sierra Leone (they don’t have public transport as in a regular bus service, per se). Instead if you’re travelling on your own or with a friend you can flag down just about anyone with a motorbike and ask if they’ll take you to some destination. You arrange the price before you set off. If you’re travelling in a large group you just go to the local petrol station and there’ll be a horde of minibuses waiting there to take you somewhere.

There’s 4 or 5 rows of seats in these things and they cram about 6-7 people per row (safety isn’t a thing there). My friends and I were going somewhere about 3-4 hours away and after a couple of hours, where we hadn’t stopped for anything. All of a sudden, a chicken lets out the loudest cluck I’ve ever heard. On the other end of the same row I was in, there was a chicken in a cage covered by a sheet or a blanket and I hadn’t seen it and it had kept quiet all that time.

Scared the crap out of me but we all burst out laughing right after.

A guy sitting in front of me on the university campus bus had a weird balding spot on the back of his head. While I was trying to make sense of it, he grabbed some of his own hair near the balding spot, pulled it out, then ate it.

I was in Atlanta, commuting via MARTA, and once watched this lady take a bite out of a muffin without taking the paper off of it first. She just chewed right through it and ate the whole thing, paper and all.

I was on a train one afternoon coming home from work on a wet and windy winter day. As the train pulled into the next train station I could see all the people on the platform with their coats on and standing under their umbrellas as the train went passed them slowing to a stop. As the train stopped I noticed a guy on the platform, about six foot tall, wearing a way to small, torn and tattered flannelette shirt. It fit him like a crop top, he had no shirt underneath, and the only other thing he was wearing was a sock. A sock that was tied around his junk. He was just standing there with his arms crossed shivering in the cold with a sock tied around his junk. He was either completely oblivious to everyone looking at him in shock or he just didn't care.

This guy kept yelling "NO!!" every time the bus pulled into a stop.

Then he yelled "YES!!" when the bus pulled into his stop.

Some homeless dude with an obviously poor grasp of English was going around saying, "Hi, change?" while walking through the carriage. Some sassy rich kid wearing a nice watch and some Yeezys replied, "Um, my name's not 'Change', it's Ryan"