Flip to the end of any fairytale and you'll read that old line, "... And they lived happily every after." Most romances these days also tell us that once the pair gets married, that's the end of the story. However, things aren't so simple for most couples. Even people in love fight, split up, divorce - and then get remarried. We asked people from around the world to share the romantic reasons they got back together with their exes, proving that love really does conquer all.
37. The healthy hookup.
I dated my girlfriend for about 5 years before we split up. We had been living together but her anxiety and my depression led to a pretty terrible situation. After being apart for 1 1/2 years, we had both worked on our mental health and gotten good jobs. We both realized that we liked just talking to each other more than being with anyone else. We got married in 2017 and are still going strong.
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
36. Double the anniversaries.
My husband and I got married the first time after knowing each other for five months. We were young, had no idea what we wanted in life, had no idea what we had. After 5 years, we split up.
We were apart for about a year and a half. We both went through a period of growth and self reflection, and eventually we came back together. We've now been back together for six years, remarried for three.
Photo by Lucas Fiorini Fotografias from Pexels
35. Made to be together.
My first husband and I married pretty young after college. We were generally happy, but it seemed like our lives were moving in different directions (geographically and metaphysically). We split up. We dated other people: went through the motions, mechanically - loved other people, sure; but without the sense of destiny and certainty we had with one another. Finally, over a decade after breaking it off, we got back together and have never been happier. Now we have the life experience to know that what we have is irreplaceably special. The stupid small things that seemed problematic back then, we now know to be non-issues. We've seen so many other couples fight and struggle for what we have naturally. We're so, so lucky.
34. Someone to lean on.
My father did this with my stepmother. They met in the miltary, but she left to pursue teaching. He left her after he cheated on her because he said she lacked the motivation to earn real money. He would only be with someone who could provide and assist him with the comfortable life he wanted. So he met someone just like him, money and power hungry. They bought a house, multiple cars, and had a kid in under two years of being together. Ultimately, they butted heads way too much and he left her, but lost his home, full custody of my sister, and most of his things. The only person that was there for him was my former stepmother. So they remarried. As far as I know, they are both very happy with the situation.
33. In for the long haul.
I met my husband at 13. We started dating at 14. Married at just shy of 18. He joined the service just before our marriage. We spent 3 years in Germany and had our 2 sons. When he left the service and we came home in the mid 80s, things were hard and we were divorced. We went to the proceeding together and lived together on and off through our 5 year divorce. We were seeing each other at the time but the high cost if childcare sealed it. I stayed home. He worked. We got remarried and had a daughter who is 7 years younger than her brother. We have been remarried for 30 years. We count the first one though. Which would be 37 years in 2020. Our "he asked me out" anniversay turns 40 in 2020.
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
32. A modern-day Casanova.
My grandfather was married seven times. My grandmother was wife #1 and #4.
My grandfather was very popular with the ladies. The very last place he lived before passing away in his 90s was a retirement community where women outnumbered the men by at least 10 to 1. His fridge was always filled with cellophane-covered plates of food from the ladies who lived there. He was a rooster living in a hen-house. I’d never seen him happier.
Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels
31. Bad lawyer, good marriage.
My parents did this. Not sure why they divorced, it was a few years before I came along. They had stayed friends after the divorce, so when my grandfather passed away, my mom made the drive back to my dad’s hometown with him for the funeral. They get to his grandma’s house, just for her to say they aren’t sleeping in the same house, even though they were married just months before. My dad’s cousin made a joke that they could just go to the courthouse and get remarried. So that’s exactly what they did. Time passed, I was born, and a few years later when looking for paperwork or something, they discovered their lawyers never filed the divorce papers because they “knew that they’d get back together.”
Photo by Nathan Engel from Pexels
30. Split the difference.
We divorced because we got pregnant really early in our relationship. Decided to make a go of it and then realized after we got married a few years later that we just weren’t happy together. He worked all the time and I stayed home with baby. I hardly saw him. We split up for a total of two years. Fast forward and “baby” is now 10 and we have a 1 year old together. He was just always there for me. He’s my best friend. We were always nice to each other for the baby’s sake. We bought a house together. Had baby #2 on purpose. The second time around there has been a lot more honesty and I don’t bottle things up like I used to. It’s been a wild ride.
29. It doesn't always work out.
My parents got pregnant in their senior year of high school and married over the summer on my mom’s 18th birthday because she wouldn’t ask her parents to sign the marriage certificate. My brother was born a few months later and they stuck it out for a year before divorcing.
Then my dad got drafted to Vietnam and when he came home 19 months later went straight to my mom to see my brother. They remarried, trying to do the right thing. All they got out of that marriage was me, they divorced a few years later before my first birthday.
They’ve always remained civil, even friendly but I have no idea how they stayed married as long as they did, they’re very different, non-compatible personalities.
28. This is what love is.
We never got married, but were together for 7 years. We broke up because I was planning to move out of the country after graduating (was an older student, I was 29 at that point). We were best friends and stayed best friends throughout it, though. But, circumstances made it impossible for me to see the plans through, and I went coocoo for cocopuffs and landed in the psych ward (like you do). He drove me to intake, stayed during my admitting, and came to see me every single day. He's everything good in this world. Needless to say, we got back together 2 years ago and we're in it to win it.
True love isn't what movies make it out to be. True love is bringing someone socks that actually fit their ridiculously tiny feet when they're trapped in the psych ward.
Pixabay
27. As you wish.
This all happened recently. My stepdad’s cousin divorced his wife 10+ years ago. He has one daughter with his ex.
He dated around a bit and finally found someone he liked enough to buy a house with. During the house hunting period, his daughter announces she’s pregnant and she’s realized she wants a traditional family, so she asks her parents to get back together. Meaning her dad would need to bail on his girlfriend, who he was about to purchase a home with.
They agreed to it!!! Her parents said okay, dad dumped his girlfriend (who is apparently very nice) right before the holidays, and grandma- and grandpa-to-be are now readily available for babysitting duties. It’s crazy.
Photo by vjapratama from Pexels
26. Hitting the road.
My friend had a kid with her highschool boyfriend, they got married and had 3 more kids. They divorced as they were hitting their 30s. It seemed like they went through a crisis about missing out on experiences from going from teens to needing to grow up and raise the kids.
They still remained friends for them to coparent and still do family things together instead of everything split up. I respected that they did birthdays and holidays together still. They were maybe split for 3 years and slowly in that time falling back in love. They did a cabin trip for Thanksgiving with their kids and their families and came back and announced they were together again. Then a few months after that had a elopement wedding with just their kids. Their kids are all grown in their 20s and they restored an RV and have been traveling around the US.
25. Twice is nice.
My mom has done this with two different men. First was my dad. They married young, like 19, and had me and my sister. They got divorced when I was 4 or 5, and remarried less than a year later. I think that marriage lasted a couple years.
Fast forward 15 years, (and one failed marriage) she meets a guy in AOL and married him. They were together for about 5 years and split up. I had a child, and the guy was like a grandfather to him, so he was always in our life. He and my mom just spent a lot of time together and then got married again about ten years ago. Life's weird.
24. If you don't have anything nice to say...
I did this with my current wife. We were married for 3 years and had a child one year into it. My job at the time involved a lot of travel. I was immature and cheated which led to our divorce. We tried a marriage counselor and stuff but nothing could get us back to where we were before. We were divorced for 2 years. We shared custody of our kid and I made a little business while she excelled in her profession. I guess I matured some during this time and she saw a change in me and my priorities. We dated a bit and when my son found out he was super happy his mom and dad were back together. One thing led to another and I asked her to marry me again. She accepted and we had a low key wedding the second time around. I think we had both talked so much crap about each other and immediately after the divorce to our friends that we were kinda sheepish to be back in love.
Photo by Bin Thiều on Unsplash
23. Not the straight and narrow path.
My wife divorced me after 4 years. Aside from the usual stuff that 20-somethings fight about, like who's putting all the work in around the household, she felt that she just wasn't getting what she wanted from our marriage. It probably didn't help that I'm non monogamous. It was what she said she wanted, and she asked for it after a lot of thought, not in the heat of the argument, so I supported her choice. The judge probably saw we wouldn't stay apart when I held her hand in court because she was nervous. After a few years of staying in touch with her and our kids, and just being there when she needed me, and her doing the same for me, she agreed with my point that I at least wouldn't make a promise I won't keep, and that I mean it when I say I love her and I'll always be there for her. I like to joke that we got a divorce, but it didn't work out, but I think the main thing is that we had to learn to be friends to be a good husband and wife.
Pixabay
22. Till death do us part.
I remarried my husband this year, just a few days after he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. He is a good man, and we have stayed friends throughout our prior marriage and the divorce. I was super commitment shy, and although I jumped into my 2011 marriage 100%, I wasn't ready to be a mature partner. We divorced in 2014. Fast forward, I was with him March 2019 when the doctor told him he had cancer, and it completely tore me up. I knew immediately I would marry him, but I called my priest to see what he had to say since I'm Catholic. He immediately said to do it. I love my man, and I want to give him the best going away party I can for as long as I can. So far, he went to Red Bull Rampage (bucket list), I took him to my old stomping grounds, the redwoods (bucket list), we are planning a trip to Whistler (a dream of his), and some National Parks (on the list). I am humbled by this love we now get to share.
21. Through thick and thin.
My great aunt and uncle did this. He was still suffering from the trauma of his WWII service with the marines in the pacific when she had a stillborn child and was told she'd never have kids, and things just imploded. They got divorced, my aunt traveled to Asia and the Middle East for like nine months, while for him it was more or less the wake up call that he was STILL shook up from seeing his buddies get blown up. She came back, and he had completely changed, and they completely reconnected. Keep in mind, this was the 50's so the thought of a 30-something marine vet going to therapy and being in touch with his PTSD triggers was pretty life altering. Her next planned trip was Europe and she asked if he wanted to come along and his response was 'I figured they'd send me there to fight hitler, but I guess this works too.' They called my grandma from Gdansk maybe two months later to let them know they had gotten remarried in the church my great-grandparents had gotten married in, and were together until aunt Betty died about three years ago. Uncle Frank died a year after her, and used to tell us all the time that he 'missed his girlfriend.'
20. The couchsurfer.
My mom and dad married out of high school. When they were 26 they got divorced. They divorced because of the stress of three kids, my dad was in the Air Force and was deployed all the time, and while neither parent has confirmed it but based on some jokes I believe my dad was also unfaithful and in general he was just very immature. My mom left him because in her words she had, "three kids to take care of, grad school to get through, and didn't have time for his nonsense."
They both went on to have different relationships and lives. They barely saw each other unless it was to trade us kids off. Then around the time my sister and I started playing sports my dad started to come around more to watch us. We lived about 6 hours away and mom let him stay at the house when needed. He went from sleeping on the couch to her bedroom within a football season. They got married again the next summer after 6-7 years apart. Been together ever since and practically do everything together.
19. In sickness and in health.
I actually have a really heartfelt story about my aunt and uncle.
They originally were high school sweethearts, married young, had 2 kids, were together for 25 years. My uncle had a really bad drinking problem, and they were constantly unhappy so my Aunt filed for divorce. My uncles drinking got worse then, and he almost drank himself to death. He ended up going to the hospital and was really sick. They detoxed him for 2 weeks and he never touched a bottle again. He was sober for two years, and had a stroke. It really messed him up and he hasn't fully recovered from it. This caused my aunt and uncle to get back together though. After his stroke she would visit him everyday in the hospital, and eventually had him come back home so she could make sure he was taken care of and safe. (He could barely walk , and his swallowing was effected so there was a high choking risk) he eventually recovered to the point he could take care of himself but they are still living together and sleep in the same bed again, although they haven't remarried - yet.
18. Age didn't slow them down.
My great-grandmother divorced and remarried my great-grandfather 3 times. They were divorced when he finally croaked, but they were working on getting married again - no doubt they probably would have been doing that song and dance forever.
As an added curiosity, during that final divorce he’d shacked up with an heiress of the Gamble (the second half of Proctor & Gamble) fortune. He’d planned on marrying her (no doubt to get at her money), and they’d gotten far enough along with that that she’d written him into her will. As it all stands, she died, he inherited the money and promptly died himself before he had a chance to amend his will which set my great-grandmother as his beneficiary, and he ended being good for something. So there you go.
Image by Olessya from Pixabay
17. Well, at least they tried.
This happened with my parents. They got divorced when I was around 3 years old.
In their years apart, they both eventually remarried other people. My mother ended up marrying a polygamist (unbeknownst to her) who drained all of her savings, she left this guy after finding out the above information.
My dad married a woman who eventually cheated on him and he finally divorced her after that.
After both going through horrible marriages after their first, they realized what they had wasn't that bad by comparison. They ended up remarrying when I was 10 years old.
They are divorced again now, they stayed together for 10 years the 2nd go around. Eventually the habits and mentality that ended their first marriage ended the 2nd.
Image by rawpixel from Pixabay
16. It just took some time.
My mom and dad split when I was 5 and my sister was 7. They were young with two kids and incredibly broke. I don’t know the full story or all the details but I’m sure those things all just caught up to them in the end. It was a really rough divorce, especially for us kids. They were separated for 3 years or so. Lived in separate apartments etc. My mom started seeing a new guy - although we never saw my dad with anyone - I’m sure he was seeing people too.
Some years passed - their rebounds came and went. They both got stable jobs and started seeing each other more. Showing up at Christmas together - attending soccer games together. When I was 9 or so they decided to rent a house. One year later they found out they were pregnant with my little sister. They got remarried about a year after my little sister was born. That was 21 years ago. They are sincerely one of the happiest couples I’ve ever been around. You never would have thunk it 25 years or so ago.
Sometimes space and refocus is actually all you need!
15. Love is a rollercoaster.
The wife and I got in a year long fight. We married young at 22 and were not on the same page about being married. She wanted to sow her wild oats and I wanted us to start growing up and take on more responsibility. We ultimately got divorced at my urging because I wanted to move on.
About a month after the divorce was final we started talking to each other like adults. We had some hard conversations about what wasn't working. We started dating after cautiously considering if we were frickin' crazy.
A year later we got married in Vegas. It's been 16 years since the divorce and we're happily married with 2 great kids. Our journey has taken some wrong turns but it's our journey and we wouldn't change it for anything.
The lesson we share with everyone who asks is getting married young isn't for everyone. Don't rush into a relationship. Make sure to make time to be yourself and appreciate your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be.
14. Try, try again.
My parents did this. They got married in 1987 then divorced a few months later. My mom found out she was pregnant with my brother. They still went through with the divorce and stayed apart.
My grandfather was very old school and basically told my dad he was dead to him if he didn’t get back together with my mom. Thanks to my bully of a grandpa they got back together and had my brother in ‘88. So also thanks to my bully of a grandpa I came along three years later.
They stayed married 13 years more. She got remarried to a great guy and my dad never remarried. He said two marriages to the same woman was more than enough for him.
They had a pretty messy and miserable divorce, but are actually the best of friends these days. Worked out I guess!
13. It's always been you.
We met in 1986. I was 18, he was 21. We knew each other two weeks, before I moved from Alaska to California. He was in the Air Force, stationed in Alaska. Two and a half months later he was reassigned to California. Two weeks later we married. We were married seven years, had two children, but both of us really had a lot of growing up to do. We divorced in 1994. After Christmas 2001, while I was waiting for the kids at the airport for their flight back from Alabama where they spent the holidays with their father, he and I were talking on the phone. I asked him if he wanted to get back together and he said "okay". In May 2002, we got back together. In 2011 we got remarried on what would have been our 25th anniversary. Here we are 2019 and we are still together and for the most part happier than we've ever been
Photo by Katie McNaught from Pexels
12. Lesson learned.
My parents divorced when I was a toddler. I later learned my father was just not supporting my (very emotional) mother in the way she needed. So she had an affair and they divorced. They shockingly remained friends after and were fantastic at the co-parenting thing.
Anyway fast forward 20 years, I'm away at college and they are both invited to my aunt's wedding. They were both on the outs of their current relationships and somehow ended up driving there together. And remarried a couple of years after that. And much better at navigating their emotional differences in old age.
11. At least someone's happy.
I was contracting a couple years ago and my headhunter would take me for lunch every couple months. The last lunch we had together before he went into negotiations for my next contract, he was very sad and depressed. I asked him what was the matter, and he basically just broke down and told me that he was getting a divorce because she was cheating. Being of an advanced age, I had many friends get divorced around that time, so I kinda knew the routine. I talked with him, and told him how dudes with good jobs are pretty in demand post-35. He thanked me for listening and really went to bat for me in negotiations and got me the max salary for the contract. I told this story a bunch as an example of being nice to everyone, you never know what could happen.
However, I kinda stopped telling this story because my wife and I were out at the movies a year or so later. We see my recruiter and start talking and catching up. Then this woman walks up to him and he introduces her as his wife.
I say, "oh hey congrats, I'm glad you met someone." He looks at me a little panicked and starts awkwardly explaining that he remarried the same woman. Haven't talked to him since, so I dont know the full story. I just hope he's happy, he was a nice dude.
Photo by Gades Photography on Unsplash
10. All grown up.
My mom and dad spilt when I was about 3. They had been together since they were teenagers, got married fairly young and as they approached their 30s, neither had stable jobs and were incredibly poor. My mom, feeling under appreciated and sick of not having any money, dumped him. Once he moved out, both my parents started seeing other people. About 5 years later or so my mom, her boyfriend and I went on a trip to Hawaii. We’re from a very cold place, so it was the first time I had ever been swimming in a body of water. I remember looking up to the beach where my mom stood watching me and crying as I played in the ocean for the first time. When I asked her why she was upset, she told me that my dad should have been there to see how happy I was being in the water for the first time seeing me. This triggered her to break up with her boyfriend that night (day 1 of a 5 day trip, talk about awkward) and my dad moved back in with us right after the trip. For about a year, my dad lived in a separate room and he and mom co-parented me while working on their relationship. Both my parents got stable jobs and my dad went to grad school. Eventually, they officially got back together and had my little sister. Now they own their business and have never been happier. It was a really sad time in all our lives, but I think it they needed that time apart to figure out who they were and how to be better partners.
9. The couple that goes to therapy together...
My wife and I were divorced for a year after 4 years married. She had post partum depression something fierce, though neither of us knew at the time. It was astonishing how bad it got. I remember one time she got mad at me for an answer I gave to some ridiculous question. Then I gave the other possible answer and she was still mad. It didn't matter what I did for almost a year, I was always in the wrong and I was growing increasingly sick of it and lashing out in rebellion. She got her first career job when the economy picked back up and after months of counseling with no progress she asked me to leave because she felt like she didn't need my support anymore and could take care of herself. 3 counselors suggested to her maybe she was the problem (in a professional way) but she'd just ignore it and scream at me for manipulating them against her. It all sounded so insane to me and I knew something was wrong because I literally didn't talk for 6 sessions and it still looked to be her issue. We split with no attorney, 50-50 custody of my kid and off I went.
A year goes by and I took her out with our kid for her birthday because I was determined to show my kid what a good man is in life and she told me she was sorry. She'd been seeing a counselor that finally cracked the problem and she diagnosed her with post partum on top of it. We reconciled 2 months after that day and I saw this new counselor too to discover my own deeply hidden problem. It took 20 years for the right counselor to crack it for me. At 32 years old.
We've been remarried almost 3 years, with our remarriage exactly 6 months from our first. We celebrate both, and just welcomed our 2nd child. The post partum is back but she recognizes it and is really actively fighting it this time. Marriage isn't always easy, but I just couldn't imagine it with anyone else but her. We both dated other people while apart, and her ex was what prompted the counseling. She had a long history of only dating emotional abusers before me, as well as after. It was a pivotal discovery for her that changed her outlook on things and helped her grow. I discovered my own insecurities and have grown from them as well.
Photo by bruce mars from Pexels
8. Redefining romance.
We’ve been together since we were 16 (we’re 38 now - and this was about 4.5 years ago that we split, 3 years ago that we got back together) You know the old cliches - “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” and the like? Sometimes they’re true.
I missed my best friend. He missed his.
We didn’t have animosity, just stupidity. We mistook contentment, comfort, and reliability for complacency, or....I don’t know. Boredom? We don’t always have a ton to say - we could just BE in the same room for a couple hours doing our own things and not talk. But we don’t need to. Where we thought we had grown apart, turns out we had just reached peak comfort lol. We’re not mushy, overtly emotional people, either of us.
We got caught up in what OTHER people (or Hollywood) told us being in love should look like. Took us a while to realize that it’s OK if you aren’t the “hearts and flowers” type. I value someone that knows me on a deeper level. Someone who can give me a $6 Christmas gift knowing it’s PERFECT for me, over someone that will throw money at expensive gifts that are nice, but superficial. He values someone who can recognize that sometimes, a night in eating junk food and watching serial killer documentaries is more fun for him than going out to a loud, crowded place, and that there’s a LOT of ways he says “I love you” without those words.
Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay
7. The feeling is mutual.
When I was much younger (in my preteenage years) my parents separated. I don't remember the amount of time it was total, but it was a while. Back then my dad had a problem with substances, and it was a major stress factor for a long time. My mom ended up meeting someone and eventually everything just continued to break down to the point the split up after some bitter fights. They had always been together, since around high school age. Grew up together, high school sweet-hearts who fell in love and all of that.
My mom took me and went with her mom for a while, dated the guy she had met. My older brother stayed mostly with my dad because they had already kind of been "running the roads" together for a while.. Long story short, after a kind of downward spiral with some very unfortunate events, everything kind of fixed itself. I don't really know what brought them back together, but my dad and brother did eventually clean up. Got back together, and fought through some occasional issues that would pop up on both sides, really.
I'd guess they had another good 23-25 years together mostly happily. Dad got diagnosed with lung cancer, fought for about five years and passed in 2017. One of those cases where they were just meant to be together. Took some hard lumps and lessons to get them both straightened out and cleaned up and make them realize everything that was important. Luckily, we were always close with them even though he wasn't really "there" during our childhood. He got to reconnect and became a very active, involved and spoiling grandfather for the latter part of his life.
Photo by Emma Bauso from Pexels
6. Reunited at last.
I did this. We got basically eloped at 20/21 and he was military. Got pregnant quickly, left the military, joined real life and it was hard. Money was tight, we lived far from family and we both have PTSD from our childhoods.
I chased and smothered him and he ran from me. He coped with video games and I didn't cope at all. I had PPD for about two years and we just drifted, lost and angry. At about 4 years marriage we separated and I filed divorce and got a job for the first time in years. We reconciled but by the end of the year it wasn't working and so we finalized the divorce and split.
I think what helped us most was that we split custody 50/50 though he paid child support because he made significantly more than me. The split was amicable and we ended up living in the same apartment complex. We became friends and started living separate lives. We discovered that we actually liked each other as people without having the expectations of marriage to bind us. He would walk over and we would just watch a movie or talk about life or how we should parent our son together. Eventually this led to us realizing we missed each other and so we made another go of it. Moved back in together, still had some growing to do but we did it. We got remarried this year (3 years post divorce) and are expecting our second child.
It's miles better. My first marriage is dead. It was an awful period of time in both our lives where we were immature and angry and had no clue who we were without each other. Now we are a team and I love and understand him more than ever. Basically we found that we could live without the other but decided we didn't want to. It's a commitment of want, not need.
Photo by Blake Newman from Pexels
5. A love that never ends.
My parents. They married in the 70s and spent 10 years married with only children from past relationships. They had a lot of issues even back then. They both had toxic relationships with booze. They'd separated at one point and then my mom got pregnant with me to keep my dad from leaving her. He stayed and they had my sister. 13 years later my dad finally called it quits. Cheated on my mom with his secretary and left her for this much younger woman. It was...not a clean divorce And despite him cheating they both shared a lot of blame in it. My mom never stopped loving him. She's either a living saint or a woman who is used to being treated very badly by life and men. When his health started declining in his mid 60s my sister suggested she move in with him as they were both single and both having a hard time on their own.
Then my mom saved my dad's life. She caught the massive infection on his foot and forced him to go to the hospital. The infection had gone to his heart and he was literally on death's door. A quadruple bypass and valve replacement, 2 months in icu and 2 in rehab, and he got another 4 years lease on life. My mom was there for him every single day, taking care of him. He felt remorse. And he needed her like he never had before. So he asked her to marry him again. I had known that my dad re-proposed, but I was surprised when they picked me up at the airport 4 years ago and told me they had been remarried that day, 16 years after they divorced. I had never thought to be a part of my own parents honey moon. They stayed married until dad passed last November. With my mom and all his family around him. My mom still goes to visit his grave every day. Part of me has always wished that she would move past him. Especially now that he's gone and I can't stand to lose another parent. But far be it for me to convince that wonderful woman to give up on someone or love someone less than with all her heart.
4. Gotta take the credit.
We married pretty young (19f me, 21m at the time) so I used to love telling people that since men mature much later in life, I had to divorce him to let him grow up a bit and then took him back later when he did just that. That is only just a portion of why our first marriage fell apart. Hindsight is so crystal clear, so now I can look back and say it was a huge combination of factors that went wrong - my post-partum depression after first son’s traumatic birth, my husband’s PTSD as it was forming from the trauma experienced during his military & law enforcement career and lack of seeking therapy, the immense turn around of life that happens with a special needs child, financial problems arising (from baby’s hospital/medical bills)...just to name a few.
So, originally married for 7 yrs (had our 2 sons during that time), then divorced for 7, then reunited and have now been married for 8. I think we’d never stopped loving each other while divorced. Both dated and he even got engaged once, but more and more whenever we saw each other to swap kids (I was on west coast and he on east), our original love for each other just intensified until one kids’ drop off when he let me stay at his place before my return flight the next day and we, well, got our groove back on while sneaking around the house late at night like teenagers.
But I won’t lie, this second time around has not been cake. It was really rough about 2-3 years ago due to a lot of life changes that happen when elderly parents get ill/die, but we stuck through it, he went to therapy, I did a lot of soul searching and self assessment and I’m happy to say that today (we are now in our early 40s), our marriage is doing really well. It’s so cheesy I know, but I really do believe deep down that love does conquer all. If you love someone so deeply, fight for it. Obviously, both people have to feel the same way though. No relationship is perfect, but if you can even sense a bit of light at the end of that tunnel, slap yourself in the face to wake up and figure out what exactly must be done to repair and salvage it (again, if the other person wants to as well). My husband still brings out the crazy in me, but he also brings out the best in me and has been my only supporter when no one else would. He’s a wonderful dad to our boys and I feel so blessed for that. Plus, I have worked too damn hard these past two decades to train him to be the man he is today for me to just let some other woman walk in and be like, oh you’re such an amazing man! Yeah thanks, I did that.
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
3. Just the two of us, the dog, the cat, and a lizard.
We weren't married in the first place, but living as such. I got pregnant at twenty, I'd been with the guy a month. I was told at 15 that I could never have kids and I'd always been reckless and didn't use contraception, so I was like... Right, I'm keeping this baby.
I told him I was moving to a different country to be near my mum, he could stay or come with, choose to have contact with the kid or not, I even said I wouldn't go after him for child support.
A month after I had the kid he arrived in my new home country and we began living together. We had been together under a year at this point!! Well, we decided we would like another kid eventually, and I assumed it would take a long time. I was wrong. When my daughter was 15 months old I had my second daughter.
We had never had time to work on our relationship, or even really date. We fought all the time, I got post partum depression and just picked fights over everything.
So when my youngest was about to turn one we separated. We barely spoke at all, just a 'hi' when I dropped the kids off for visitation. He had an awful girlfriend who hated my kids so he saw them less and less, I was so mad at him.
Two years down the track, I got really Ill with an infected gallbladder and pancreatitis. I was in hospital for two weeks. I woke up from my gallbladder surgery and had this sudden realisation that I loved him and wanted him in my life. I messaged him and told him my feelings, but that I understood he had a girlfriend, I understood if he hated me, and would like to just be friends.
He messaged me back saying he didn't hate me, but he did have a girlfriend so that's all he was going to say. I was sad but I understood, he had moved on.
The next day he text me and told me he had broken up with her, and when were the kids and I going to be able to come for a visit.
We started back slow, just all visiting together, then eventually staying the night. 5 years ago we moved back in together and he proposed.
I have worked hard on myself, quit drinking and got help for my mental health. He has worked hard on himself too.
We are super strong now. We have just gone through a year of living in a caravan with the kids, the dog, the cat, and a lizard, while we build our house, and we have hardly fought at all.
I love him so much and can see being together forever.
Pixabay
2. Went through a really rough time.
My husband and I got married at the young age of 20. I had just gotten a kidney transplant a few years before I met him and was thriving on it. He knew of my medical history, but mainly all he knew was that I had to take medication every day, and that’s it.
Then comes barely a year into the marriage and my kidney fails. I become a complete wreck physically and emotionally. I took my anger and every strong emotion that came my way onto him. I verbally and physically abused him. I was so angry at the world and took it out on the one person I loved the most. He took every hit like a champ and still took care of me on my bad days,
Then came the addiction. When all I felt was anger, I wanted to become numb. So I started taking too much pain medication and muscle relaxers, I was completely zonked out 24/7. He was still there by my side taking care of me.
Until enough was enough for him. One day he tried to tell me how he felt and how things needed to change or he was going to leave and I didn’t truly listen to what he was saying to me. So he left one day I was hospitalized. I came back and he had already packed up all my stuff.
We were divorced shortly after and I moved back in with my parents. At that point, I decided that I needed to get myself together and fix my problem—which was me. I needed to fix me. I was tired of being emotionless and tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I saw. So in one snap decision I turned my life around. I went to every dialysis session and was compliant with my medical treatment. I stopped taking too much pain medicine and started thinking clearly.
I missed my ex husband dearly but decided that he was better off without me because I had hurt him so badly, I decided that the best thing I can do for him to say I’m sorry for everything was to leave him alone forever. I wrote him a long letter explaining how sorry I was and how I felt and told him goodbye.
I started dating, and never felt a connection with anyone. But I was focusing on my health still and trying to get back on track. After a while I get a call from my ex husband and he wants to see me, we start seeing each other again and agree to date each other slowly. It took him a very long time to trust me again but we worked it out together. We fight each battle that comes our way as a team and even though we still have our arguments we always find a way to solve them.
We don’t give up on each other anymore, we have been through that already and know that outcome. We both changed for the better and now live together and have grown up in so many ways. We couldn’t have gotten back together unless we both changed our ways & became better people.
Always love & work on yourself first. That’s SO important. See what follows after...
1. Happily ever after.
This actually happened with my parents. I still don't know the exact story, I only know the things my mum has told me over the years and the things that I discovered myself because I didn't wanna ask, so it could be very biased sometimes.
They divorced when I was 7 years old, I have two younger siblings, 3 and 4 at the time. The biggest reason my mum called out was because my father had a major drinking problem and spent all of my moms money on Christmas Eve on beer so we sat there without even really something to eat. We kinda survived the next few weeks based on the money of my mums best friend who fortunately lived in the same house. I had some kinda idea what was going on, but my siblings didn't, so they basically grew up without a father. Meanwhile, my father moved out to a new wife, they didn't marry, but their house was about 4 hours away, which is a kinda big distance for me here in Germany. We lived with my mother, but my dad took us every second weekend to his place. I can't remember much except some places we went to with our father. This lasted for 2 years until I was in second grade, and it somehow stopped, I still don't know why. So we basically lived without any contact with my father for the next 5 years. Then he suddenly showed up on Christmas Eve and said we could maybe visit my grandparents together (on my fathers side, my mothers side died before I was born). My mum did let my siblings and me decide, and we somehow agreed, even though we were pretty unsure because especially my siblings basically grew up without him. But yeah, whatever, more presents? that was my honest thought at this time. This was basically the ritual for the next 5 years, we saw our father during Christmas and I think sometimes on Eastern, but that was it.
Fast forward to 4 years ago. It started very innocent. My mum received calls everyday and everytime she then went to her bedroom so my siblings and me didn't hear who she was talking to. I got curious, but several events in my life have taught me not to ask my mum about things she was doing. But I didn't even need to. One day, when I was home alone with her, she suddenly revealed that it was my dad she was talking to. I can't remember my reaction, but I know that I didn't handle it as a big deal (probably because I didn't really believed her). But yeah, she talked to my dad everyday. I can't even tell how it started, I only started to realise the everyday-calls someday. She revealed that my dad and his then-partner didn't really get along and that he'd sorted out his other problems and stuff. And yeah, this was it. When she told me this, he was already packing stuff up over there to move in again. And so it happened. About 10 years after they divorced very dramatically, they went back together. They wanted to surprise my siblings, so I wasn't allowed to tell anybody, but I was okay with that.
One moment that will be stuck in my head was the actual day of the return of my dad. The week started very normally, my mom told me on monday that my dad would come to us NEXT WEEK. So I was starting to mentally prepare myself (I was about 15/16 at the time). What I didn't know, my mum wanted to surprise me so that my dad came back the same week. What SHE didn't know, my dad wanted to surprise HER, so he took the train on Wednesday that week. My siblings and me were already asleep when he wrote her that he would be at the train station in about ONE HOUR. So yeah. Big surprise for everyone. The next morning, my little brother wakes me up with :"yo, dad is sitting in the living room" Not to mention that I never in my life ran so fast to the living room without tripping or falling to embrace my dad and breaking down in tears. All in all, you can probably imagine that I really couldn't concentrate in school that morning.
The reunion wasn't enough for my dad. One day, he suddenly told my siblings and me to come to the living room (mom wasn't home). At first, he started the conversation like he was about to tell us he was going to leave again, so I nearly broke down in tears again. But he told us he wanted to marry my mum again. Well, I broke down into tears anyway, but now because I was happy.
Image by White77 from Pixabay
